93.2

A very quick post from Sean to y'all since my shift is almost over, and I have to pickup Bella. The results are in. I am offically an Information Analyst I after passing my analyst test with a 93.2 (second highest score in department history). Consider me offically promoted with a 7% raise and more respect around here. Plus, Information Analyst I sounds a lot more useful and important than Computer Operator, doesn't it? Just wanted everyone to know. Next thing to hope for is to get off of this dang weekend shift. One step at a time!

Have a great weekend, everyone! Take care.

check in, check up

today was bella's 9 month checkup, though she's not technically 9 months until the 31st. dr. jayraj checked her out again, and again asked if she was in daycare. swallowing my rage, I answered "just 2 days a week, as always" and he noted it, again, on her chart.

here's the gist: at first, she was in the 90th percentile for height and weight. meaning she was heavier and taller than 90% of her tiny baby peers. she's steadily decreased to 50% during her 6 month checkup. or 7th. whichever. now, though, she's at 25%. I don't really care about her being at the average, but it's just so crazy how she started off like a mammoth and is now a petite little lima bean. seeing her next to noah, who started off like a petite little lima bean, really drove the point home, though. noah looks like he could begin walking any time he wants. which is so cute, because his little babble sounds like a boy, he looks like a boy (whereas some babies can totally pass for asexual), and so his size just fits along with the rest of his personality. and I guess bella is the stereotypical girl baby at this point - little and dainty.

she got her hepatitis shot, which she was NOT happy about, and we learned that the patches of rough skin on her back and belly are, in fact, baby eczema. poor thing. it doesn't really seem to bother her - it more bothers me because I have a version of it and hate it and I am afraid hers will get worse.

the other interesting thing is that dr. jayraj told us to basically start giving her table food. which, okay, really? and of course last night we went grocery shopping and bought 80 kinds of baby food jars for her. I guess though that I can stop feeling guilty for letting her taste my food all the time. (I can still feel guilty for letting her have some of my crybaby sour cherry water ice, since it made her forcefully vomit. the face she made eating it was just too cute not to keep feeding it to her until then, though.) and he said she should be eating solid food 3 times a day and nursing about 4 times a day. I guess we can expect her to rise up from the 25th percentile then.

he did say that we should continue giving her her vitamin drops as we have been since they were prescribed at 3 months old. as in 2/3 of her lifetime ago. and sean and I looked at each other and said "okay, will do." uh - we kinda forgot about those. we gave them to her at first, but that was in her not-wanting-anything-in-her-mouth phase. and then, I guess we just stopped. and never...quite...started again. oops.

so all in all it went well. and tonight, we are giving bella a steak and a baked potato for dinner. I hope she can use the knife okay.

bathing beauties

after completely embarrassing myself at the hatfield public pool this weekend because I was wearing a maternity bathing suit top with a pair of mismatched bottoms, I decided to bite the bullet and order up some bathing suits from Middle Aged Yachting White People's Clothing Company, ie Land's End. I had gone to sears over the weekend looking for the land's end bathing suits I saw in their catalog, and had gotten nothing, as I had forgotten that no one needs a bathing suit in the dead heat of july. no, we all buy them in march, when it's too cold to wear short sleeves. in july, when no one is going to the beach, or has lost weight, or decided they hated their current suit, or just hasn't gotten around to buying a suit yet, no one needs or wants bathing suits. that is why there are only 4 of them on the rack. because no one wants them. (thank you, sarcasm italics.)

because you can't try on bathing suits when you're buying them online, I had to take some drastic measures and treat it as if I were in the store. even though the bathing suits are an astonishingly expensive $80 apiece, I ordered 3 of them, with the intention of trying them on and returning the ones I don't like. so sean, if you see a charge on the statement for like a hundred skillion dollars, don't worry - I'm taking care of it.

so swimming. it is hot as hell here in eastern PA lately, and this weekend was no exception. I went to our local pool for the first time and was very impressed by what I saw as I drove up - a kiddie pool that had a ramp in it so the water got gradually higher so bella could sit in it, a mushroom shaped fountain, a nice looking snack stand - and so I was pretty psyched that this pool trip would be okay. because generally, I hate public pools. having been a spoiled brat and growing up with my own pool in my back yard, I had a mild disdain for having to share to begin with, but when you think about all the organisms and hygiene habits of people....I should stop. I'm freaking myself out.

anyways, so I get to our local pool and go inside. a couple of kids who look like they are about 10 are at the desk. no other adults in sight. I ask how much for the day, and they just look at each other like I'm speaking yiddish. finally, one looks down so as not to have to make eye contact and tells me "you gotta be a member." I was like "you mean to tell me I can't just pay to come in?" and he tells me that a member has to sign me in for me to be allowed in for the day. a member has to sign me in. what is this, a fucking country club? it's the local goddamn pool!! I mean, yeah, it looks nice, but sweet shit on a stick, it's still a local pool! since I wasn't getting anywhere with these little asswipes, I left and went over to a pool I knew would accept payment for the day - hatfield. a pool that I knew was one of the reasons I hold the stereotype of public pool that I do. one with band-aids floating in the water and people who smell badly.

so we went in and bella loved it. like seriously loved it. she showed no signs of getting bored, even after a half hour of walking in circles. hell, *I* was bored. she could have stayed there all day.

of course, it's the end of july, and I'll be damned if I pay $150 to be allowed to go to my local pool (I PAY TAXES, YOU LITTLE SHITS, LET ME INTO THE GODDAMN POOL) so I guess it's either hatfield or our little baby pool until next year.

why can't one of my friends put a pool in at their house?? jen, tracey, nicole, theresa - I'm looking at you guys.

odds n ends - picture edition

I tend to store up lots of pictures in my camera and then download them all at once. hence.

from three separate swimming instances:

one - sean, his ipod-toting dad, and bella


two - bella and noah and the aftermath




three - hatfield community pool, I have to tell you about that


and here's a picture for theresa as a thank you for the pretty dress.


more later...

the scream machine

just look what we did to noah. or rather, what bella did to noah.

as nicole said, every time noah started really having fun with bells, she started having a little too much fun and squealed, and noah would look like she just brandished a shiv she retrieved from her diaper and was planning to cut him.

it was cute in a way, and very sad. I felt bad for noah, I felt bad for bella, and I really felt bad for nicole, because clearly can't be expected to have control over our kids' emotions but it is hard to watch your baby cry. it was great to see nicole, though. but when I saw her, I wanted to run over and type all over her. I think we're a little too used to email.

a source of frustration for me yesterday is my pork roast's pop up timer. this happens to us all the time - we get something that has a pop up timer and it never fucking pops up. I love the idea of the pop up timer because I have a phobia of uncooked meat. I am constantly asking sean and trent if the meat looks too pink, or if it's done. I've been that way for many years now, with nothing to really back up my claims that I'm always eating undercooked meat. however, a few weeks ago, I had a chicken finger from the snack stand at the lansdale little league field, and after biting into it without looking for 3 bites, I looked down to see slimy, pink, uncooked chicken. it seriously was all I could do not to throw up.

anyway. so the idea of a pop up timer is infinitely appealing - having something tell you "I'm done!" is excellent - but they never. fucking. work.

case in point. our little pork roast was in the oven for an hour and 15 minutes, the oven was turned off for about an hour (so it was in there with the oven still hot), and then cooked again for another 15 minutes. and the timer never popped. the overall cooking time according to the directions was one hour, 10 minutes. it was in the oven turned on for an hour and a half, and had an extra hour of cooking time in a hot oven in a hot kitchen. lucky for us, it was not a hockey puck and had some juices left in it when we ate it. but that damn pop up timer never popped up. what's the friggin point??

I seriously can't remember a pop up timer I've had that has EVER worked. now, you'll all say that they work for you, things pop up all the time, it's great - but come cook in my kitchen. maybe it's a vortex of tainted meat timers, I don't know, but I seem to be cooking in the bermuda triangle of pop up timers.

so, nicole, I'm sorry if the meat was a little rubbery.

sometimes I feel I've got to bomp bomp run away

theresa has me thinking.

a couple times a year, I tend to fly the coop. I would classify myself as a pretty social person, but I really value my alone time. I love to go to movies alone, I love to vacation alone, I love to just sit in silence for hours doing nothing but thinking.

sean is very understanding about this and always gives me the space I need. before bella was born, - actually the week before she was conceived, I think, or shortly afterwards - I was looking for cruises or cheap airfare to a warm city, since it was cold, and sean didn't bat an eyelash to either the fact that I was getting away and he wasn't, and that I was spending alot of money doing so. we wound up agreeing that I'd drive up to montreal instead, which was wonderful. but sometimes it's just a day trip to jim thorpe or philly or the shore or centralia.

once, on a day trip to jim thorpe, I came back with a better frame of mind and a tattoo. montreal saw me come back with a renewed spirit and some excellent pictures. I just need the time away to be myself, beholden to no one for a while, with no one asking me anything or needing me. not that I'm always put upon at home, but I look at it like sort of an ashtray, for lack of a better analogy. you can take the butts out of an ashtray and even dump it out, but every once in a while you have to send it through the dishwasher so the last little bits of ash get cleaned out and it's like new again.

this is similar to what theresa talks about as pondering - to me, anyway. I like to get my life in order while I'm gone. think about what we need to do to move ourselves forward. this is how I got myself ready to buy a house, to get married - to have bella. and it's a time to take personal stock in myself.

enough. you get the idea.

the problem is, now that I am, as I stated to theresa, tethered, I can't really get away. and I know if I did, I would feel quite guilty, and I'd have two giant engorged reminders that I was, for all intents and purposes, shirking some of my duties.

I dream of going to a tropical island, and spending whole days on the beach reading, alone. making a cocoon for myself so I can emerge as something new.

angel bella

I have had a trying couple of days and I'm exceedingly annoyed at the moment. so here is a picture of bella in lieu of a post. tomorrow is another day.

toofer one

bella's got her first tooth. it came without alot of fanfare - she was a tad cranky, a little more drooly, but nothing that was earth shattering. it's still just a lil nub of a tooth, but yesterday, she was drinking water from a glass (something she loves to do - unfortunately, most of the water runs down her chin) and sean and I both heard the distinctive clink of her tooth against the glass.

speaking of sean, he's taking that giant killer test this week. he did half yesterday and the other half will be friday. don't even get me started on how ridiculous it is to base a promotion on taking a goddamn test...but whatev, he's taking it, he's going to do marvelous, and we're going to be rolling in all the extra pennies.

and he found out that he has the opportunity to go to a better tues - sat work schedule. right now, he works fridays from 6a - 2:30p, saturdays and sundays from 6a - 6p, and mondays from 6a - 2:30p. which means I never, EVER see him. and neither do our families. but bella (and trent, as this is summer vacation) totally benefit. if he moves to tues - sat, he'll be working from 6a - 2:30p those days. and we'll have sunday to do stuff together. and he'll have monday with bells.

I already have a mental list in my head of all the stuff I want to do on the weekends - zoo, please touch museum, sleeping in for chrissakes - but the real exciting part, for me, is that sean will be able to watch the baby at the same time as I have off work. I think this makes me a bad person. a selfish person, if you will.

I want to have an afternoon on a sunday to read. (fyi, I did get the harry potter on saturday and finally started reading it last night, but only for like a half hour, since that's all sean could muster with bella.) I want to be able to cut the grass and weed the flower beds early sunday morning and not late on tuesday night. I want to be able to go to a movie. maybe even with sean.

it's no secret that I've felt more like a single parent lately than I've felt comfortable with. though sean is a loving, dedicated, very involved father, both of us interact with bella (and our home) on our own schedules, which only overlap on weeknights, and only for about 3 or 4 hours a night. most times less. so this is a good thing for us.

bella likes her daycare. they are good to her. she likes being around other babies and I think this gives her more socialization with adults, too, which is good. it's going to cost more - almost double - and mornings are going to be more difficult. and sean has a wonderful routine with bella that I can't get at any daycare.

this is just one of many of life's crossroads. I'm not sure which road we're definitely going to take, but one is looking alot more rosy than the other. what do you guys think?

friends are relatives you make for yourself

so today I want to say happy birthday to someone I consider just like a sister. from the first time we met in 9th grade, I knew we'd be lifelong friends.

actually, that's totally not true. the knowing we'd be lifelong friends part, I mean. see, back then, we were all over the place. at first, nicole was a little unsure of her place in the world, a little worried that her boobs weren't big enough, and a little too reliant on turtleneck/vest combos. you see how things have changed so dramatically?? I, on the other hand, was oblivious to most things, yet nosy, and a worry wart. so some things never change. but over the years, especially the last 6 or 8 of them, we've grown immensely closer together. it's so nice to have a friend that can remember last weekend with you and remember 10th grade english with you. who can understand a stupid reference to a nailpolish color you used to use when you were 15. who knows what you mean when you say "as squeaky clean as beth conrad."

this year, she turns 31. and I'm proud to say that I knew her when she turned 16 (with the mustangs) and 18 (getting ready for pitt) and 21 (when we'd lost touch) and 30 (when she knew she was pregnant finally). and I hope to know her when she turns 40 (with the spontaneous shrinking of her rack) and 65 (with a few kids to throw her a big party) and 120 (when she's just a brain in a jar attached to a computer, just like me.)

So, without further ado, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NICOLE!!

honk honk

my drive to work in the morning is always slightly harrowing at best. fridays and mondays are even better, since I get to drop bella off at daycare and get ready without the help of sean. usually, though, trent's at least home to hang with bella while she sleeps and I'm in the shower. however, today, trent is staying at brett's new house - a house of wonder and contentment, a house where breakfast doesn't have to be eaten and frozen pizza abounds. a house where hawaiian punch flows like water and water flows like molasses.

so I was on my own this morning. first, bella woke up early. so I had her sitting on the bathroom floor while I took a shower. and, as usual, her toys are no longer interesting so she was playing with box of tampons that I accidentally left out. after a very quick shower, I sat her on the bed with her usual favorite toys - a tube of pantene leave-in conditioner, a back scratcher, and her foam toy remote courtesy of comcast. however, she was not in the mood for playing. only for holding.

we managed to get through my morning routine (with her grabbing the mascara tube only once, and me getting her to the sink to wash her hands before she was able to smear it all over anything) and got out the door and into the car. getting to daycare wasn't bad. getting into daycare wasn't bad. but leaving? that was bad. apparently, along with uh oh and waving bye bye, bella has learned to cry when mommy leaves. excellent.

so after a tearful goodbye, I got back in the car for the rest of my commute. I, um, accidentally very slightly cut a guy off (I had to get over, there was room - but it was close) and he wound up circumventing my shortcut with a shortcut of his own, and bing bam boom, he found himself in front of me. and he snickered. so I did what any person with slight road rage would do - I blew him a kiss. he nearly stopped the car. I thought he was going to punch me. he drove about 15 miles an hour through the parking lot that I cut through and made me miss a light. I blew him another kiss. (it's actually more effective than flipping the bird.) he continued to drive slowly. I think I was responsible for the backup on 63 going east today, sorry everyone.

I got in, on time (whew), played What's Encrusted On My Shirt Today, and settled in for another wonderful day on the Interweb.

good morning, everyone!

uh oh

first off, I am so excited that noah is crawling!! I love these baby milestones. and I have one myself, I'm proud to say.

bella said "uh oh" 2 days ago for the first time. when she drops something, which is all the time, I say "uh oh!" and give the item back to her. so when she dropped something 2 days ago, I said "uh oh" and there was little bella's voice (which is the same key as mine - so both of my children have deep voices) saying "uh oh!" I couldn't believe it, so I said it again. and she said it again. and I said it again. and she said it again. then I ran and grabbed the phone, called sean, and said it again. and she said it again.

and then - nothing. until once yesterday, and she said it to trent after he said it to her.

and then - nothing. until today. sean just called and said that she said it again. but not when he said it. I thought the whole thing was mimicry, as she tends to do that with alot of noises. but this time, she was playing with the dish towel (yeah, I know) and dropped it on the floor. and looked at sean and said "uh oh!" and when sean didn't get it right away, she said "uh oh!" again.

it's so crazy that she is on the verge of being able to understand what we're all talking about. it's a whole new ball game then - just like crawling is a whole new ball game for casa de eggerts. our worlds are going to change again, and then again, and again. it's exciting and a little scary and definitely exhilirating.

on a completely unrelated note: please, when in an area that serves rita's water ice, do yourselves a favor. never, EVER get a misto shake. it's all wrong. just - all wrong.

thank you, and good night!

as the cart turns

in response to nicole's request for our shopping cart contents, I offer the following:

I do occasionally make lists. if I have forgotten to get something a few times, or I have a recipe that requires something specific, I will make a list. sometimes, I'll make a list just because I'm trying to act more organized. quite often, my trips to the grocery store are spur of the moment, when I had gotten out of work a little early or trent is at practice and things are quiet. I don't have a day that I do shopping, nor do I have a set amount of time that goes by before I go shopping. if we are low on more than one genre of thing, I figure it's time. so if there are very little snacks and I'm having trouble finding things to make for dinner that night, it's time to go shopping. this happens probably every 10 days or so. sometimes more, sometimes less. I tend to spend between $150 and $175 each time I go.

for the most part, I browse each aisle looking for things that are new, seem good, and are on sale. I do have some staples that I buy each time. and sean tends to eat the same things for lunch every day, too, and those I get every time. (sidenote: I arrange my cart so that things fit nicely and exactly, and I arrange things in the cart, and then on the checkout conveyor, by where they go in our kitchen. I physically can't continue shopping if my cart is in disarray. it's kind of freaky.)

stuff I buy each time, usually without fail:
(in order of the aisles at the giant I shop at)

bananas
vidalia onion
plums/peaches/whatever looks good
jarred pineapple
applesauce
pickles
meat marinade (as we try to never have meat that hasn't been marinated)
tuna fish
bran flakes (for sean)
some sort of semi-sugary cereal (for me)
pop tarts (for trent)
granola bars
fruit roll ups
rice krispy treats
red gravy
ragu double cheddar sauce (it's better for you than boxed mac and cheese and you can make it with wheat pasta)
yellow rice
2 or 3 boxes of cous cous
white rice
fat free brown gravy in the jar
boxed scalloped potatoes
egg noodles
canned green beans - several cans
canned sweet corn - del monte
canned garbanzo beans
baked beans - vegetarian, bush's
chunky soup (trent's lunch)
fat free refried beans
salsa
barilla pasta in the yellow box - it's like extra fortified or something, sort of like wheat-y
saffron risotto
cookies - usually rotate between fat free chips ahoy, fat free oreos, and fat free fudge stripes
crackers - rotate between various kinds
a bag or two of pepperidge farm cookies if I am feeling even the least bit depressed or hungry or pmsy
rold gold pretzels - rotate between cheddar, honey mustard, and honey wheat braids
baked lays - rotate between plain, bbq, and sour cream cheddar
apple juice (100%)
fruit juice (100%)
hummus
some sort of beef substance
some sort of pork substance
ground turkey
ham steaks
fat free kielbasa or turkey kielbasa
healthy choice variety pack pre sliced lunchmeat (sean's lunch)
ball park fat free franks
morningstar farms parmesan ranch chik patties
a zillion lean cuisine or smart ones (my lunch)
lean pockets (trent's lunch)
waffles
breyer's chocolate ice cream (full on fat)
weight watchers choc chip cookie dough desserts
no pudge brownie cones
skinny cow ice cream sandwiches
minute maid frozen lemonade
4 or 5 bags of frozen broccoli
2 bags of frozen broccoli/cauliflower/carrots (I use these in casseroles)
1 bag frozen asparagus (the fresh stuff isn't always available or good-looking)
1 bag frozen cauliflower
1 bag frozen carrots
a quart of skim milk
a pack of various flavors of fat free pudding
a pack of various flavors of sugar free jello
light yogurt
I can totally believe it's not butter spread
arnold light wheat or 12 grain bread (sean's lunch)
stove top stuffing
wheat pita bread

and then there's always stuff that I don't plan on buying, like treats or meats that are on sale, or some ingredients for a recipe or something.

I tend to make alot of casseroles using rice or noodles or something. I have perfected what we call "meat pie" (you asked for it, nicole) which is a pie crust, a mixture of browned ground turkey, rice or potatoes, cream of mushroom soup, garlic, and mixed vegetables, with another pie crust on top and some fat free grated cheddar. I don't write down most of my creations and they taste different each time I make them, it seems.

on weeks where trent is at brett's, though, I tend to cook lighter. like just cous cous and garbanzo beans with some vegetables. depends on what sean feels like doing. oh, and sean grills almost all of our meats in the summer. which is great, because I don't touch meat when it's not cooked and when he grills, I don't have to do my usual knife and two forks dance to get meat out of its packaging and into whatever is going to cook it.

I hope this is what you're looking for. it's pretty bland, actually.

THE DAY

you're all just waiting on the edge of your seat to hear how it went on friday, aren't you. yeah. you are.

here's a little teaser for you: I woke up on friday morning, almost giddy to all the possibilities of the day before me, and found that I had gotten my period.

yes.

it was going to be THAT kind of day.

I am not going to bore you with all the details. suffice it to say that I did get my hair dyed, thank god. and I did go shopping and get a couple of things for myself from gap's incredible sale. and I did use up a $50 gift card to H&M.

the highlight of my day, which is really the only other thing besides what I already said, is that I took a 20 minute nap. of course, it was peppered with pokings from trent asking me if he could have cookies, or if he could watch a movie, or whatever - I mostly mumbled "YES, NOW GO AWAY" so I very well could have allowed him to throw knives and watch porn and I wouldn't have cared.

at 4:30, I woke up from my nap, and that, my friends, was that. hair dye, 4 shirts, 1 skirt, a nap, and a whole bunch of tampons. not exactly the stellar day I had envisioned.

I did get to have a wonderful night, though, at jen's house, playing trivial pursuit pop culture edition. I dragged trent and bella with me and we all had a wonderful time. of course, bella can't bear to go to bed when we go out, so she was up until midnight. but having trent with me was helpful, as were nicole and mark. we had fun, kicked ass, and took names.

the rest of the weekend - tiring. hot. and filled with baseball. I'm glad it's monday, and I'm glad that sean comes home from atlanta today. though he just called me from the road (from wawa - I talked to him as he walked from the atm to the bathroom to the urinal to the sink and back to the register - drips, flushes and all) and he's below richmond, VA right now and still hopes to be back in PA by 7pm, which is, how you say, impossible? I guess anything is possible though, as my period decided to come on a day that I was trying really hard to be carefree - get it? Carefree? I was going to say something about Playing Tex. maybe Tamming Pax. oh, man. I think I need some sugar.

anyway, one other thing about the weekend - I got 2 really great things. one was a set of (sort of expensive, but I rationalized it by saying that it was what I really wanted, and instead of getting something I didn't really want, and then replacing it later with something else that I didn't want, and then finally giving in and getting what I really want, I saved time and money) porch rocking chairs. sean doesn't know yet and I hope it's a pleasant surprise when he gets home. the other was a mysterious package sent to me by theresa, which contained a weird powdery substance. just kidding, it contained an adorable dress for bella, and she wore it to jen's on friday. thank you, theresa!!

I still want to get a massage and facial. I think I deserve it for living through this weekend, don't you?

vacation, all I ever wanted

what a slacker I've been these last few days. you know? sure, monday was a holiday and yesterday I "posted" pictures, but where's the beef?

here's the beef.

tomorrow I am taking a day off from life. really, it's only going to amount to a few hours away from life, but it is something, at least. sean is going to atlanta to see a college friend for the weekend, and I took off work. bella is going to daycare. trent will be home but I'm giving him strict instructions that if I am in the house, to pretend I don't exist. which, for a 12 year old boy, is not that difficult.

but...I have no idea what to do with myself. I know I have to dye my hair. it's getting quite necessary. and not just from the gray standpoint. the last stupid hair dye I used I think I mentioned - it was this washes-out-in-4-minutes red, which has long since washed out and left my hair a very faded strawberries and mud color. it's not pretty. in fact, a guy at work today stared at it while I was talking to him. now, women tend to do that when my roots are a little, shall we say, noticeable, but men? men don't usually care one lick about that stuff. especially the man who was looking at it. so it's gotta be pretty bad.

other than dyeing my hair, though, I have no clue what to do. it's gotta be something that I can do in a few hours, that will make me feel COMPLETELY different about my life, that I could never do with my kids in tow, and that can justify taking a precious day off work to do. in short, absolutely nothing will fit this bill. there are plenty of things I'd like to do that fill most of these requirements, but not all. some of the things I'm considering are also illegal, so I guess we should add to the list "must be legal." that narrows it down.

part of me wants to just stay in bed and sleep. or read. nicole suggested I get a pedicure, but I'm really not into people touching my toes, as I have this freaky skin thing that happens sometimes and I almost always have an ingrown toenail that I don't want anyone messing with. but that's the kind of thing I'm thinking of.

maybe a facial. I had one before but it did, really, nothing for me. maybe it was just a bad facial? can one make a facial appointment on such short notice and actually have it be good? what constitutes a good facial? (I am sure it's nothing like the "facial" that I have been receiving from bella lately, as she's perfected spraying the contents of her dinner at me by blowing what I can only describe as gigantic raspberries with full on tongue engagement while her mouth is full of baby food. is that even a raspberry then? it should definitely have a better name, as raspberry sounds cute. this isn't exactly cute. it's like she's sharting with her mouth. how's that for a mental picture?? ew, I know, I know.)

this is my prediction: in an effort to find the perfect thing to do, I will squander the entire day sitting around, moving stuff from one area of the house to another. perhaps I will just break down and clean out my car in an effort to actually have something to say when people ask what I did all day. at least I weeded the front garden yesterday so that's not an option. I would feel like the biggest jackass if I was like "oh, yes, on my lovely day off from life, I weeded the garden. yeah. weeded. the 'garden'. as in the 5 plants in front of our tiny house. all day. that's what I did."

anyway. let's talk bella. she's a little faker, that one. she can totally roll over. she rolled from one direction to the other so quickly the other day - and then looked at me like "oh shit, did you see that? pretend you didn't see that." why would she hide this talent from me? I think it's because she knows that if I catch on that she can move all over the place, I'll watch her more closely. which, no I won't.

she also is waving more often. before, I wasn't sure if she was waving on purpose or just moving her arms around. I think she's doing it on purpose. but, of course, she won't do it all the time. and she is babbling constantly. screaming at baseball games (she likes when everyone yells and wants to join in) and singing to herself in the grocery store, just gabbing away all the time. it's cute. I have to drag out our video camera at some point to save it - because I don't want to forget what it all sounds like.

so - you won't hear from me tomorrow. and sean's gone for the weekend. we will see you next week and I'll tell you all about my day off and all the wonderful weeding and car cleaning that got done.

peekin

peekin,
originally uploaded by patrice108.

bella had fun on the 4th of july...click the picture to see the entire photo stream. including pictures of my dad and fireworks.

Typos

What's a "Fireword" anyway? I meant "Fireworks"! Duhhhhhh....

And so, I feel the revenge of the ignored preview function. At least I didn't try to play it off like I meant "fireword" by bringing Donald Trump into it somehow.

Firewords on the Horizon

Happy 4th of July, everyone! Sean here at work (as usual on a weekend) this holiday weekend dropping you a post when I should be gathering more information to ace my test. That's in two weeks, and next week, I'm off to Atlanta, GA with friends. So, this is the last work week I have before I'm REALLY feeling the flames of test pressure. I know. I'll do fine, but it's the anticipation that Carly Simon sang about and the waiting being the hardest part as mentioned by Tom Petty that is killing me. I just want it behind me so that I can just get on with being an analyst instead of an operator. What will be the difference? Cha-ching!

A few things.

First, since Patrice set me up to tell the story, I have to tell it. When Bella was at the bottom end of her constipation mountain last week, I was feeding her her lunch bottle. She gave me zero indication that she was having a bowel movement. Instead, she drank her bottle with no grunting, squirming, or other signs of a fecal-related struggle. When she finished her bottle, I let her crawl all over me, which she likes to do lately. We call it climbing "Mt. St. Mommy" or "Mt. St. Daddy". Anyway, having no idea that she blew out her diaper, I knew that she was due for a change, so I picked her up and laid her on the changing table. While doing so, I noticed a dark brown paste on the inside of my right elbow. At first, I was worried that it might have been blood. Using my sense of smell, I deducted that it came from Bells nether region. Then, my sense of sight picked up on smeared poo on my shorts and shirt. The locations: right leg, right pectoral, left rib cage. Trails left behind on her Mt. St. Daddy expedition. Unfortunately, I was wearing a powder blue Cave In t-shirt which is now permanently stained after two consecutive washing cycles. I guess it's permanent now. The evidence goes along with the memory.

Don't hate me. It seems that guys just lose weight faster than girls. I think it's because guys generally eat more, so naturally, if they cut back, they will lose weight faster. Anyway, in accordance with the documentation of my attempt to lose weight (I'm stalling, aren't I?), I lost 5 pounds in a week, which floored me because I don't look different. I definitely feel better, and that's what's important. It's the whole point of why I'm doing this, and it seems to be working. So, as of July 3, I am now 225 instead of 230, which makes me happy.

I won't have a post next weekend because I'll be away (probably drinking beers and eating southern BBQ), so I don't expect the same weight loss results. Well, we'll see how it goes.

8 months under our belts

bella turned 8 months somewhere between yesterday and today (since there isn't a 31st to really mark it) and I am overwhelmed by how much she's made our lives better. I love watching her interact with trent, sean, and anyone else who visits. she's a happy, loving baby, vocal - I swear, I'm going to realize the full potential of this at some point around age 10 - and sweet.

when I place her in my lap, she fills the whole area up...when she was just a newborn, I remember thinking that it wouldn't be long until she was up and running around and here we are, 8 months later, and it's gone by in a blink of an eye.

a short time before bella was born, sean's coworker and his wife had twin boys, who were born too early. it was touch and go for a while, and then little connor got to come home. he thrived. he's passing all the same milestones as bella - and is nearly the correct weight for his age. but poor ryan was not able to leave the hospital and had to have more surgery. he didn't gain weight. he didn't thrive. and yesterday, he finally let go.

the significance to us of his passing on bella's 8 month birthday was that we went numb. only now am I really allowing the emotion of what it would be like to lose this part of our life to creep into my head. and I am swatting it away as quickly as possible because I don't want to ever imagine my life without either of my kids.

we are sending flowers for ryan. we don't know what else to do. but we're going to cherish our children no matter if they are crying, pooping all over us, forgetting to feed the pets, eating too much junk food, or anything else. and I hope in some way, that honors ryan's memory.