you push away the people who do support you. you keep making excuses for the people who don't. and the people in between, it changes from minute to minute.

I spent today just like I spent yesterday and the way I'll spend tomorrow. who said what did I say what did I mean and did I do it the way I wanted to because of this or that or does she think I'm too dramatic or when is he going to leave me and when will I feel like myself and what if I do feel like myself and why doesn't anyone help what's help who helps why don't I help myself and I'll buy this and horrible parent.

my hobbies include smoking, overanalyzing, breaking phones, self therapy, crying, being melodramatic, and hating myself.

merry christmas merry fucking christmas and a happy new year of 365 more chances to fuck everything up.