toofer one

bella's got her first tooth. it came without alot of fanfare - she was a tad cranky, a little more drooly, but nothing that was earth shattering. it's still just a lil nub of a tooth, but yesterday, she was drinking water from a glass (something she loves to do - unfortunately, most of the water runs down her chin) and sean and I both heard the distinctive clink of her tooth against the glass.

speaking of sean, he's taking that giant killer test this week. he did half yesterday and the other half will be friday. don't even get me started on how ridiculous it is to base a promotion on taking a goddamn test...but whatev, he's taking it, he's going to do marvelous, and we're going to be rolling in all the extra pennies.

and he found out that he has the opportunity to go to a better tues - sat work schedule. right now, he works fridays from 6a - 2:30p, saturdays and sundays from 6a - 6p, and mondays from 6a - 2:30p. which means I never, EVER see him. and neither do our families. but bella (and trent, as this is summer vacation) totally benefit. if he moves to tues - sat, he'll be working from 6a - 2:30p those days. and we'll have sunday to do stuff together. and he'll have monday with bells.

I already have a mental list in my head of all the stuff I want to do on the weekends - zoo, please touch museum, sleeping in for chrissakes - but the real exciting part, for me, is that sean will be able to watch the baby at the same time as I have off work. I think this makes me a bad person. a selfish person, if you will.

I want to have an afternoon on a sunday to read. (fyi, I did get the harry potter on saturday and finally started reading it last night, but only for like a half hour, since that's all sean could muster with bella.) I want to be able to cut the grass and weed the flower beds early sunday morning and not late on tuesday night. I want to be able to go to a movie. maybe even with sean.

it's no secret that I've felt more like a single parent lately than I've felt comfortable with. though sean is a loving, dedicated, very involved father, both of us interact with bella (and our home) on our own schedules, which only overlap on weeknights, and only for about 3 or 4 hours a night. most times less. so this is a good thing for us.

bella likes her daycare. they are good to her. she likes being around other babies and I think this gives her more socialization with adults, too, which is good. it's going to cost more - almost double - and mornings are going to be more difficult. and sean has a wonderful routine with bella that I can't get at any daycare.

this is just one of many of life's crossroads. I'm not sure which road we're definitely going to take, but one is looking alot more rosy than the other. what do you guys think?

8 validations:

Jen O. said...

Even though I "talk" to you all day, every day, I have no idea what it's like to have a baby and to deal with the juggling schedules. So I am unqualified to make an assessment as to which schedule would be better for you and your family.

Selfishly, I would love to be able to hang out with Sean on a Saturday night. Would his raise ease the extra daycare costs? Or not so much?

patrice said...

good question. if he gets his raise, it will cover the increase in daycare costs. if he doesn't get the raise, it would definitely be a hit to the pocketbook.

lonna said...

I know that you're in a hard spot because of the money. We just upgraded to a much better daycare and it's costing us almost 300 dollars more a month, but Dermot is so much better off. Sometimes you just have to deal. We're having to go over our budget and cut where we can. Hopefully Sean's extra pay (which he should be able to get) will cover it.

I hate to sound like Dr. Phil here, but kids do benefit from happy parents as individuals and happy parents as a couple.

Dermot's been in full time daycare since he was 6 weeks old and he has never really seemed to mind the separation. He loves other kids and other adults. He's incredibly social and I think that's because he's been around so many people. I think that Sean will miss his time with Bella, but he's also probably missing his time with you.

Rebecca said...

I'm so sorry! I thought since I didn't say who was killed, it was okay. (I mean, everyone pretty much figured SOMEONE was going to die, right?) I'm so, so sorry.

Missuz J said...

Like Jen, I definitely don't feel qualified to form an oppinion on what would be best for your family. That said, spending more time with your husband, i think, would be a good thing. I find that when I've become very used to not having Erik around--to the point that when he is here, I'm like, "What the fuck? Don't you have something to do?" it's time to make our relationship a priority again.

NME said...


Sean is going to do well on his test. This is certain.

Only you and Sean can make that decision based on what you think is best for all three of you.

KATIEmagic said...

Like you other internet friends I won't profess to know what's right for you but I always feel like more time with Husband is worth a whole hell of a lot.

Jaws said...

Sounds like your busy there and lots of stuff coming up.. Daycare cost for a GOOD one is crazy.. DOwn here there are lots of cheap ones but its like shopping at Kmart instead of Maceys.