honk honk

my drive to work in the morning is always slightly harrowing at best. fridays and mondays are even better, since I get to drop bella off at daycare and get ready without the help of sean. usually, though, trent's at least home to hang with bella while she sleeps and I'm in the shower. however, today, trent is staying at brett's new house - a house of wonder and contentment, a house where breakfast doesn't have to be eaten and frozen pizza abounds. a house where hawaiian punch flows like water and water flows like molasses.

so I was on my own this morning. first, bella woke up early. so I had her sitting on the bathroom floor while I took a shower. and, as usual, her toys are no longer interesting so she was playing with box of tampons that I accidentally left out. after a very quick shower, I sat her on the bed with her usual favorite toys - a tube of pantene leave-in conditioner, a back scratcher, and her foam toy remote courtesy of comcast. however, she was not in the mood for playing. only for holding.

we managed to get through my morning routine (with her grabbing the mascara tube only once, and me getting her to the sink to wash her hands before she was able to smear it all over anything) and got out the door and into the car. getting to daycare wasn't bad. getting into daycare wasn't bad. but leaving? that was bad. apparently, along with uh oh and waving bye bye, bella has learned to cry when mommy leaves. excellent.

so after a tearful goodbye, I got back in the car for the rest of my commute. I, um, accidentally very slightly cut a guy off (I had to get over, there was room - but it was close) and he wound up circumventing my shortcut with a shortcut of his own, and bing bam boom, he found himself in front of me. and he snickered. so I did what any person with slight road rage would do - I blew him a kiss. he nearly stopped the car. I thought he was going to punch me. he drove about 15 miles an hour through the parking lot that I cut through and made me miss a light. I blew him another kiss. (it's actually more effective than flipping the bird.) he continued to drive slowly. I think I was responsible for the backup on 63 going east today, sorry everyone.

I got in, on time (whew), played What's Encrusted On My Shirt Today, and settled in for another wonderful day on the Interweb.

good morning, everyone!

5 validations:

KATIEmagic said...

Oh no! Sounds very stressful. Once I cut a lady off and she just shook her head like she was dissapointed in me. It pissed me off so bad that I do it to other people like that ass hole you "met" this morning. Kinda like blowing a kiss, but not nearly as great.

Jen O. said...

Ha! I love that you blow kisses. That must infuriate teh other drivers. On the way to CDNOW once, years ago, Jon, the ultimate passive-aggressive driver, started trouble with another driver. Truth be told, that other driver probably started it -- Jon responds, he doesn't usually instigate.

Anyway, that driver drive up our ass and followed us all the way to work, threatening us by swerving and driving alongside us menacingly once we reached the highway. Eventually, he took off. But it was really scary.

After that, instead of playing that game, Jon would simply give people the "teabag" when they pissed him off. He would basically make a pinch with his thumb and first two fingers, and motion as though he were dipping a teabag into a cup of hot water. This gesture thoroughly confuses drivers, who generally know that they've done something wrong and are expecting a big fuck-you of some sort. The looks we get in response to the teabag? Priceless.

NME said...

Brett's house is a young boy's dream. Boys who act even younger than Brett.

Noah is bored of his toys too. So I'm always looking around a room trying to figure out what new thing I can give him.

I can barely dry my hair in the morning. Mascara? WOW!

Noah cries out almost every time I leave the room. It's the age.

Missuz J said...

Ah road rage. Since I'm trying not to swear in front of Sophie anymore, I've started making up names to call other drivers other than fuck-wad and shit sandwich. Yesterday I came up with dingle-hopper and pickle-berry. Also, I am totally stealing your idea and will be blowing kisses at idiot drivers all over Southern Utah.

Kelly said...

I agree with Nicole. It's the age. It makes life interesting. Usually they stop crying about five seconds after you can't hear them anymore. Just long enough to rip your heart out and stomp on it, I know.

But trust me. It doesn't last long, and the phase does end...sometime.