the scream machine

just look what we did to noah. or rather, what bella did to noah.

as nicole said, every time noah started really having fun with bells, she started having a little too much fun and squealed, and noah would look like she just brandished a shiv she retrieved from her diaper and was planning to cut him.

it was cute in a way, and very sad. I felt bad for noah, I felt bad for bella, and I really felt bad for nicole, because clearly can't be expected to have control over our kids' emotions but it is hard to watch your baby cry. it was great to see nicole, though. but when I saw her, I wanted to run over and type all over her. I think we're a little too used to email.

a source of frustration for me yesterday is my pork roast's pop up timer. this happens to us all the time - we get something that has a pop up timer and it never fucking pops up. I love the idea of the pop up timer because I have a phobia of uncooked meat. I am constantly asking sean and trent if the meat looks too pink, or if it's done. I've been that way for many years now, with nothing to really back up my claims that I'm always eating undercooked meat. however, a few weeks ago, I had a chicken finger from the snack stand at the lansdale little league field, and after biting into it without looking for 3 bites, I looked down to see slimy, pink, uncooked chicken. it seriously was all I could do not to throw up.

anyway. so the idea of a pop up timer is infinitely appealing - having something tell you "I'm done!" is excellent - but they never. fucking. work.

case in point. our little pork roast was in the oven for an hour and 15 minutes, the oven was turned off for about an hour (so it was in there with the oven still hot), and then cooked again for another 15 minutes. and the timer never popped. the overall cooking time according to the directions was one hour, 10 minutes. it was in the oven turned on for an hour and a half, and had an extra hour of cooking time in a hot oven in a hot kitchen. lucky for us, it was not a hockey puck and had some juices left in it when we ate it. but that damn pop up timer never popped up. what's the friggin point??

I seriously can't remember a pop up timer I've had that has EVER worked. now, you'll all say that they work for you, things pop up all the time, it's great - but come cook in my kitchen. maybe it's a vortex of tainted meat timers, I don't know, but I seem to be cooking in the bermuda triangle of pop up timers.

so, nicole, I'm sorry if the meat was a little rubbery.

7 validations:

Trikc said...

You know... It never occured to me to call her Bells! I love that! Its hard to be in the presence of such pure happiness and not get a little restless. I mean hellz bellz! She even made me question if I was happy enough!

Katy said...

Those pop thermometers suck. I find when I'm thinking they should be popped up and aren't it's because the meat juices have gotten between the part stuck in the meet and the part that's supposed to pop, then cooked. Which makes meat juice glue which is really very gross. There are however multiple kitchen gadgets that will solve this problem, for instance, a real live kitchen thermometer. Alton Brown has one on good eats that has a wire probe and then an instant read screen that stays on the outside of the oven so you can see if it's done without actually opening the oven door. Try foodnetwork.com in the shopping section.

Jaws said...

LOL Great post. I have never made a pop raost.. I always do the crock pot roasts.

I linked over and he is cute!

Kodi said...

I, too, have an fear of undercooked meat. My meat is always a little on the over done side. Better than getting a tapeworm, or e-coli. I had a nice cooking thermometer, but my husband thought it would be a great tool to pry something open with. No more thermometer.

Missuz J said...

I also like to do the crock pot roasts--especially in the summer because they don't make the house so hot. I never trust the pop up things, and end up with your same dillema. Let's write someone like Emeril and see if he'll give us all a roast cooking lesson together.

Jen said...

I think the thermometer is a good idea. We have one that I use when grilling, becuase I like my meat bloody, but warm enough that it is not dangerous (about 140 degrees). It is a little digital job and does the trick nicely.

NME said...

Despite the dagnabbit timer, I thought the pork roast turned out lovely. It was great to see you folk and be seen by you too.