game night

this past saturday, we celebrated trent's birthday by having a game night at my sister's house. it wasn't well attended, as my family is not much for caring about other people's birthdays, or existence, but we made the best of it.

I love game nights. I am not a horribly competitive person, but I have just enough fight in me to be a good game player. we started out playing a game called moods, which is so totally right up my alley. there are 10 cards on the board with different "moods" listed on them, like suspicious, sarcastic, silly, and even adjectives that don't start with S. when it's your turn, your job is to read an innocuous statement in the mood that is selected for you by a secret turn of the dice. the other players have to correctly guess what mood, of the 10 that are showing on the board, is the one you are portraying. it's hard to explain, but suffice it to say that you have to be pretty good at portraying a mood based solely on your line delivery and not on actions or the actual words that you're saying. anyone who knows me would probably say that I can get pretty expressive with my face when I want to. I am happy to report that trent has followed suit and is also very expressive - and that means that he and I were excellent at moods.

after moods, we played a game that nicole gave us last year called wise and otherwise. it's like balderdash, in that you have to try to come up with a plausible ending to a proverb or adage from a different culture. each person writes the ending they think others will accept as real, and then everyone votes. the adages themselves are pretty funny and difficult to figure out. again, you're probably totally clueless to what I'm saying but believe me when I tell you it's fun.

next, we played one of my favorite games of all time, pit. it's a card game about the stock market. the card suits are based on commodities of the time period that pit was invented - hay, flax, wheat, barley, etc. and the idea is to get all 9 cards in your commodity first by trading with other players. only no one takes turns - you're just all yelling out for trades of 2 or 3 or 5 or what have you. it seriously is the most fun game I've ever played.

and finally, a tip of the hat to boobecca - we played, and I have to get this right, dance dance revolution extreme II. they have 2 mats, so my niece chelsea and trent got to go head to head. I went head to head with my sister denise (yeah, denise, patrice...cute, huh?) and I totally won. actually she did but I don't think she reads this so it's easy to pretend I won. but I loved it and plan to buy it for our house so I can embarrass myself in private and maybe even get in shape. I have a feeling, though, that I'll buy it and play it like 3 times and then never use it again.

unless....

anyone up for game night??

catching up

last night, we had a couple over for dinner at our house.

it was my friend kristen and her husband brian. now, kristen I have known since first grade and through jr high and high school, we were inseparable. she was a rock when I found out I was pregnant (we agreed to go to the same college) and was like a second dad to trent when he was born. I say "dad" because that was more the dynamic she had with him. anyways, she's a really special person to me and has been for 25 years now.

sean's known brian since freshman year of college. they were college roommates and kept in touch even after brian left millersville.

it might seem like a weird twist of fate that my best friend growing up and sean's first college roommate wound up married. nope - not unless "fate" is mine and sean's middle name. and I'm sure our friends are tired of hearing it, but it was a big accomplishment that we brought them together. we told kristen that we had a guy in mind that would be perfect for her, and didn't tell brian a thing, and had them both over for dinner a few years ago. we unashamedly threw them together on the couch while we watched, of all things, deliverance. their hands touched when they both pet our dog at the same time, and, well, the rest is history. they married in july of 04 and are now pregnant. it's been wonderful to watch them grow together.

the thing I am most excited about, though, is the fact that kristen...well, to say it this way makes it seem like I am way ahead of everyone and that I'm like all high and mighty and stuff. but it's the way I've always thought of it so I hope no one gets upset when I say it's that kristen is catching up.

I think I may have said something like this when nicole got pregnant, too. having kristen reach this milestone had a weird effect on me. I was thinking about it last night and I think what it is is that I have always been comparing my life with hers. she's got a pretty great thing going on - she graduated from college (the college I was set to go to before I found out about trent) and has a great job. her parents are wonderful people - when I was an outcast with my family for a while, her parents invited me over for christmas and thanksgiving dinners and still send me and my kids cards for holidays. (in fact, they came to my wedding and bella's birthday party.) she has a nice house, a great husband, and life is really treating her well. she's got a lot of confidence and is well respected. she's someone I have always measured myself against, even though our lives are so different. not measured in the sense that I was trying to be as good as her or as happy as her, but I guess I just envisioned that she was living the life that I might have had, had things not turned out differently for me. I love trent and am grateful for his being here, but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't often wonder what things would be like if I had not been blessed with him when I was...and for me, that meant kristen's life.

so for a long time, I have been waiting for kristen's life to look more like mine - I guess in some way it's to prove to myself that I have come a long way and that the things that seemed to matter 13 years ago may not be as important now. and since she's pregnant, I am thrilled for her and feel like things are finally getting caught up. I have always carried a tremendous amount of guilt around over how things turned out for me (and again, I have to stress that it's me I was disappointed in and not trent) and this has served to ease that for me for some reason.

trent turns 13 tomorrow. I wouldn't want my life any other way, and I know that now. but it's somehow liberating to me that my would-be doppleganger is catching up, and maybe now, I can put aside some of my baggage and enjoy my life as it is instead of as it might have been.

touching

weekend: dinner with the eggertses and jen and mark on saturday, as nicole described; a huge dinner on sunday at kkkkkkkkkkkkkkathy's and my dad's, as sean described; touching all the stuff they asked that we please touch on monday, again as nicole described. I really have nothing new to say.

well, except for the fact that, surprise! bella has....an ear infection! that's right. we didn't give her her medicine on monday because we forgot the morning and evening dose, and last night, she had a pretty intense fever. sean took off work today to stay home with her and the doctor says she has another pretty severe ear infection, worse than it was over a week ago when we had the last one. and this time, sean put his foot down. we have an ear-nose-throat appointment for march 6, and a new antibiotic in the meantime. we still have our ENT appointment for april 26 that we'll use as our second opinion - that is, if we don't get our tubes scheduled before then.

it's really ridiculous. this poor child is always sick and she's always in such good spirits. I'm sure nicole would tell you that at the museum, she was as happy as a clam. you would never know that she wasn't feeling well. I've had many, many ear infections - in fact, I've had tubes twice myself - and I know that they HURT. it hurts to tilt your head or lay down or have anything touch it. and you can't hear well and the pressure hurts and it's just miserable. and this poor baby has endured one after another after another and has been just a little angel about it.

poor thing. I hope she and sean managed to have some fun today. I'm sure she's not going to be pleased that she has to take medicine twice a day for another 10 days. nicole and mark witnessed a medication administration at their house on saturday night. it's not pretty.

in better news, sean and I wound up seeing brokeback mountain on saturday night, and I don't know when I've enjoyed a movie so much. I still keep thinking about it. I kept telling sean all weekend how much I loved it. it was a moving story and so transcended the gay cowboy theme. I'm not sure what about it touched me so much, but something did...I can't wait until it comes out on dvd so I can buy it and watch it again. and it was so lovely to see a movie at the ritz. the clientele is so different from all the theaters around here. when the previews are about to come on, even when the theater is packed (as it was that night) you can hear a pin drop, it's so silent. everyone respects everyone else's space and experience. no cell phones ringing, no kids running around, no teenagers (I should really be carrying around a cane and a 911 transmitter around, I sound so old) talking or throwing shit. I love it. so thanks again, nicole and mark, for the wonderful night.

we have homework from our talk with my dad on the addition. he already has plans drawn up. he's totally gung ho. it's going to cost a fortune, though, so I'm freaking out a little. we'll see how it shapes up.

I Guess I'm It

Sean here. I'll second being tagged, and I'll try not to double up on answers that Patrice already mentioned since a lot of them involve me too. It's all about variety.

Four jobs I've had:

Janitor
Truck loader
Librarian
Warehouse

Four movies I can watch over and over (only four?):

Goodfellas
A Clockwork Orange
Big Lebowski
Taxi Driver

Four places I've lived (all PA):

Philadelphia
Millersville
Chalfont
West Chester

Four TV shows I love:

Lost (couldn't help doubling up on that one)
My Name Is Earl
American Idol
The Simpsons (Seasons 1-9)

Four places I've vacationed:

New Orleans
San Diego
Edinburgh
Richmond

Four of my favorite dishes:

Fajitas (steak or chicken)
Burger and fries
Cheese steak hoagie w/ mayo
Bravo-style pizza

Four sites I visit daily:

Google
Hotmail
Netflix
Patrice's Baby Attack

Four places I would rather be right now:

Home
Vacation
Metal show
Brewery

I will also be back on Tuesday. Tonight, we go out to dinner with the Eggertses and see good friends Jen and Mark. I heard we are going to a place named "More Than Just Ice Cream". Sounds intriguing. I also heard that Nicole and Mark will watch Bella and Trent so that Patrice and I can go to the movies. How nice! Thanks, guys! It's a toss up between Brokeback Mountain and Capote.
Tomorrow, we visit Patrice's dad and Kkkkkathy to discuss home equity, lines of credit, and home improvement. Monday, I get an oil change, and while that is happening, hopefully, we'll do something fun as a family. It's not too often that we get two days in a row to spend together. Thanks goodness for President's Day.

I'm boooooored.

real bored. the friday before a long weekend is always one of the longest, dumbest days ever.

so. I read on TWoP that there's some freaky message you read if you get the book an occurrence at owl creek bridge and check the first word on pages 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42, which are the lost numbers. and I googled the hell out of that and can't find it. unfortunately, I don't have that just laying around somewhere. do any of you? it's driving me mad. oo, missuzj, you're a teacher...do you have it?

other than that....zzzzzz.

oh, you know? I think I was tagged for a [I refuse to call it meme] thingie. oh, all right.

Four jobs I've had:
legal secretary
office manager
marketing manager
busgirl at the dublin diner

Four movies I can watch over and over: (not many, by the way - these are a stretch)
clue
freddy got fingered
south park the movie
airplane

Four places I've lived: (christ - they are all in like a 5 mile radius)
hilltown, pa
perkasie, pa
hatfield, pa
lansdale, pa

Four TV shows I love:
project runway
amazing race
lost
the office

Four places I've vacationed:
canada
mexico
graceland
vegas

Four of my favorite dishes:
macaroni and cheese
wokoli, as in broccoli cooked in the wok
milkshakes
scalloped potatoes

Four sites I visit daily:
gmail
go fug yourself
strangeafeet (and all my blog peeps)
television without pity

Four places I would rather be right now:
ice skating
sleeping in a hotel room
playing with bella and trent
at the bank, cashing a $1million check

I'm off on monday, so have a great weekend and see you on teeeeuuuuuuuuuesday.

World's Worst Blogger

Remember me? Sean here. Of all the apologies I owe, the one to my wife is most important. Sorry, Patrice, for my blog neglect. You should know that I read as often as I can, and I'm usually too busy to ever post. That is not the case now, so here's my chance to say what I've been meaning to say for all of these days in a row when I haven't posted. Okay, no necessary build up here because I don't have anything big to say. In fact, Patrice has done one helluva job keeping us up to speed on life's goings-on or going-ons or goings-ons or something. Maybe I'll do one of those stream of conscience things that Patrice does so well just so that I can remember what I was thinking when I wrote this. Here we go:

I sorely miss Bella after not seeing her yesterday. I cherish this time in her life because I know that she'll never be this young again. A day I miss is a day I'll never get back.
I didn't see her yesterday (except for in her sleep when I got home) because I met up with an old friend named Mark, ex-roommate.
Mark was in the city last night with his band kicking of their 30 day tour of the U.S. with a show at The Troc's Balcony Bar.
Treated Mark and his band, Twilight Collective, to vegetarian Chinese food because I wanted to do something nice for a bunch of great people who are about to embark on a financially burdened road trip.
Saw them play and was really impressed with them and their openers. I'd describe their style as heavily hardcore influenced melodic rock. They treated me to a t-shirt as well as dedicating their final song to me in front of the audience and chanting my name on stage. They were showing their appreciation over dinner and the fact that I came out to see Mark after not getting together with him in over 6 years. He's a hell of an individual. In turn, I was flattered and appreciative. What goes around comes around and vice versa. Anyone watch My Name Is Earl? Love that show as well as the Office.
Still putting the pieces together after a rough Valentine's Day. Not only did I offend Patrice with my card to her and send her vase-less flowers in a box, but my computer crashed here at work. All is well though, now. The pieces have been put back together.
Lovin' the new heater and bed. Lovin' the fact that we've done so much with our starter row home, and there are so many more projects ahead of us. I just hope we can afford to get them all done. My attitude is all or nothing. I don't like half-assin' anything. If we commit ourselves, I want to go all the way, baby.
Got to visit my favorite record store last night (Relapse Record Store at 4th and South). Picked up a few gems that I can't wait to hear later: Kill The Client, Beneath The Massacre, Burst, Nasum, Mastodon, and finally...drum roll please...Facedowninshit. Sorry if that's offensive.
Trying to see as many Oscar nominated films as possible before the Oscars. Patrice thinks I'm a movie snob, but I'm more of a movie phanatic. A movie snob would not watch Four Brothers or Fantastic Four. I give everything a chance, but I sure will trash it if I don't like it. F4 wasn't too bad, but Four Brothers was not very good. Anyway, Patrice, Trent, Brett and I do this Oscar pool every year. The person who gets the most award winner predictions correct gets treated to dinner. For this reason, I like the Oscars. It's the only awards show that I give a damn about. Since I don't get to the movies often anymore (last one was King Kong...incredible), that limits me to the ones that are on DVD right now. There's only so much time in a day, so we do what we can. Besides, when we can't watch movies because we're caring for Trent and Bella, you can't complain about that. I mean, what better show is there than watching those two cute kids.
Finally, random cute things Bella has been doing lately: throwing away her trash; asking for her bath after dinner; helping me empty the dishwasher. Love that kid. Loving life!
Okay, so I'll talk to you all in a few months! Just kidding. I'll try to be better (I always say that). I don't want to be the world's worst blogger.

extreme makeover - row home edition

for those of you who don't know, sean and I own a row home in a philadelphia suburb. it is our first house, and we'd never buy it again today if we knew what we know now about it. as you do know, we just got a new heater, which is a nice thing for when we want to sell. it got us to thinking about all the other projects that we want or need to do in order to maximize our living arrangements and, ultimately, to sell it to some other unsuspecting yahoo.

we know we need to get some sort of home equity loan or line of credit in order to finance everything we want and need - a new stove (a need), a new deck (a want), to finish the kitchen, etc. and when it comes to matters of the wallet, specifically having to do with our home, we pretty much have to consult with my father. not because he holds the purse strings or anything (I wish) but because that's the way it has to be done.

my dad and I have a great relationship. now. growing up, let's say we didn't see eye to eye. not that I had alot of interaction with him. he and my mom were usually too busy with hating each other, loudly, or ignoring each other, pointedly, to have much to do with me. he has always been very opinionated and very controlling, and though he's softened quite a bit, there's still a little of that mean old dad in him. and of everyone I know, he knows the most about how to handle money. he'll definitely want to help us figure things out, but only if he's ultimately calling the shots.

(and by the way, that is the nicest, most understated paragraph about my father and his termperment and my childhood that I think I could possibly write. I'm kind of proud of myself.)

so I figured I'd broach the subject with my dad over the phone when he called - again - to ask how the heater was working and if I got my money's worth. I knew I wanted a deck and a new stove so I told him that sean and I were thinking of looking into home equity loans. and then I braced myself. I quickly added, "ofcoursewewanttoaskyouropinionfirst" before anything bad could be said. he did agree and then said something really quite extraordinary. he suggested that we put a new addition on our house.

I was floored. I mean, I always wanted to do that (we have room to build overtop of our kitchen - we'd have to bust out the back wall of our house and move our bathroom but it so totally could happen) but I honestly thought he'd laugh at me if I mentioned it. and I'm positive that he would have if I did, as this kind of thing usually has to start with him or it's not a good idea, if you know what I mean. but having his support of it without my even bringing it up was really exciting.

sean's not quite on board, and we'd have to make sure that we weren't fixing our house up so much that we'd never recoup our investment, but I can't tell you how great it would be to have a bigger, newer, more non-life-threateningly-wired bedroom than the extremely tiny one we have now. and a new bathroom? fageddaboudit. I'd be in heaven.

anyways, this weekend, we're going over to my dad's to discuss the pros and cons. I put together a list of all the things that need to be done to the house - it's 35 items long. I categorized them as big ticket, contractor, and DIY. there's not a ton of big ticket stuff, but a nice amount of contractor (ie, we can't do it ourselves) stuff and a long list of DIY (meaning I have to do it.) but when it's all done...we'll be living in paradise.

I can dream.

happy effin valentine's day

oh sean.

he tries so hard.

this morning, he left me a card and some chocolates. the card was really sweet, and he had even drawn little thought balloons coming out of the people's mouths. the last line of the card said something like, "but the best thing I've done was marrying you." and sean signed it, "nothing could be further from the truth. love, sean."

yes, you read that right.

when I called to ask what was up with that, he couldn't believe that's what he wrote. he swears he didn't mean it. I'm sure he didn't, but that doesn't stop me from laughing about it every time I talk to him and say "nothing could be further from the truth." it's an instant term of endearment.

he also sent me flowers - 3 big bundles of tulips. unfortunately, he either didn't include a vase or they forgot, so now I have 2 bundles shoved into a dirty vase I had in a drawer and one bundle in a plastic water bottle. when I told sean, he was so upset. he got even more upset when he found out that they came in a regular box - the point of sending your wife flowers at work is so that everyone knows you got flowers even before they get to your desk. when he found all of this out, he just sighed and said, "well...happy fucking valentine's day."

and I laughed and laughed until I was crying. which is the best kind of valentine's day gift I could get.

real quick

weekend in a nutshell:

14 inches of snow
103 fever (bella)
another double ear infection for bella
digestive failure for me
massive shovelling.

more later.

I used to...but now I...

missuzj gave us a writing assignment wherein you have to take 2 times in your life and compare them by using the phrases "I used to" and "but now I". I wanted to blog about it because this is precisely why I started this blog in the first place.

I began writing this blog (at the urging of friends) because I was pregnant again after an 11 year hiatus. I was really interested to explore the differences between then and now. and I never really did it...not specifically. I guess I do every day, but in a subtle way.

anyways, here's my homework:

I used to be afraid of what kind of mother I'd be, but now I am afraid that I won't be as patient as I was the first time around.

I used to wonder how I'd tell if trent were teething, or if he was happy, or how to gauge my parenting skills, but now I have the benefit of experience...11 years of experience, through potty training and first days of school...to help me through.

I used to buy copious amounts of toys at christmastime, but now I have no idea what to get my son AND I buy copious amounts of toys at christmastime.

I used to put my infant son on his belly to sleep, but now I freak out if I find my infant daughter anywhere but on her back.

I used to worry about just living day to day and providing for trent from hour to hour, but now I worry about day to day, hour to hour, and college.

I used to think I wasn't doing it right at all, but now I know I won't ever know if I'm doing it right and I don't really care.

I used to have 60 thousand stretch marks, but now I have 800 thousand.

I used to think I wanted a few more kids, but now I realize I have enough.

(sidenote, I had to run to the bathroom just now. I overheard a woman talking to another woman, one of whom was pregnant. besides the obvious ridiculous comments like "I know you've only got 2 weeks to go, I can tell because I see you've dropped" [which, blow me, even if you're my OB, you have no fucking clue] the woman was saying that she didn't understand why people were potty training their children so late. that some people are waiting until their kids are 2 and three years old. she blamed it on too many mothers working. first of all, we're in a work bathroom. second, you're talking to a person who is pregnant, working, and planning to continue to work. she actually then went on to say that the appropriate time for training a boy is 22 months, and a girl is 18 months. christ almighty.)

I used to think I knew nothing about raising kids, but now, apparently, I know it all.

but my favorite is:

I used to think I had only enough love for one child, but now I know that each child just makes your heart bigger.

dying to go home

yesterday, someone said to me, "have you heard about that stomach bug that's going around?" I said no - and then literally 5 hours later was doubled over in pain with stomach cramps. I had chills last night and was quite achy. I got up this morning feeling pretty much okay, and since I had stuff to do today (including dinner with a woman I just met in the same industry as me) I dragged myself to work.

bad idea.

so now I'm just holding on until I can drag myself home. I'm just hoping I can make it home in time.

man, I hope this isn't like the ring, where now that I've heard about it, I get it, and then if I tell someone else, THEY get it. wouldn't that be nuts? (sorry in advance and let me know if you get it too. we can write the screenplay together. I want to write the scene where the protagonist gets caught in a public restroom with no toilet paper and a stall door that doesn't lock.)

hey hey you you get offa my cloud

paranoia status - red alert! if you look at me with a blank stare today, rest assured that I will, in about 4 minutes, have figured out at least 8 reasons why you hate me and what you're saying to others about me.

in other news, our mattress is breaking in quite nicely, I'm happy to report. it's still unfortunate for sean, who does not have the benefit of the space foam stuff on his side of the bed (his third of the bed, actually). well, actually, I don't think he really cares about the foam stuff. the mattress itself is encased in canvas and not whatever silky material normal mattresses use, and it has to break in, apparently. the foundations come in tomorrow, I think, and then all will be right with the world.

in heater news, I took a shower today with all kinds of hot water. AND the heat was on. it was alarming at first when we got home last night (sean, trent and I went to a sixers game in my company's club box - medium pimpin!) as we found brett and bella "asleep" on the couch while the stench of natural gas almost knocked me over. the pilot lights in the stove were out, and must have been out for a while. well, actually, I think our installer guy just never re-lit them. in his defense, he was at our house until after 9pm installing everything. so the re-lighting of the pilot lights (and the re-putting on of our storm door, and the putting back of our radiator covers) just didn't get done. the heater itself though looks HYPER NEAT. it's like, the house is old and everything is old in it and BAM! NEW HEATER! CAN YOU DEAL WITH THAT, MOTHAFUCKAAAAS??? in other words, it's a very nice selling point.

to that end, we are in the process of putting together a list of all the things that we'd like to fix in our house, and maybe getting ourselves some home equity whatev to finance doing it all. my guess is that we'll put the list together, take a look at it, then laugh our asses off. in a sense, it's like polishing a turd. I don't know. we'll see how it goes.

for now, though, we're just going to bask in the glow (literally!) of our heater.

been there, done that

the weekend came and went so quickly that I hardly had a chance to bitch about anything. friday night, I went grocery shopping, which is THE thing to do, apparently. I mean, I know nicole does it, but I thought she did it because the stores are kind of empty then. perhaps it was because I was shopping before super bowl (r) sunday, but it was ca-roooow-ded.

saturday, we had yet another pajama day. when sean came home at 3:30, I lounged around and finally decided what I was going to do with "my" night, since sean was giving me the night off. I wound up bleaching the ends of the sides of my hair (hard to explain) for almost 2 hours (and no, it doesn't look bleached, fucking stupid feria bleach blond my ass) and reading, then going out to, of all places, ruby tuesday's in the mall to have dinner while reading. after sitting at the bar with my book and looking suitably spinsterish for an hour and a half, I went out into the mall to continue and hopefully finish my book. unfortunately for me, the mall closed before I could finish so I finished it at home while the boys watched flight plan. which - dumb. anyways, the mall was also good for some people watching. or teenager watching, more aptly.

I remember being that loud and that obnoxious and not caring how the rest of the world saw me. I remember being that awkward and that naiive and not worrying about anything other than what was happening right that second. but holy shiza, I do NOT remember wearing things so skimpy. maybe it's me getting older, I keep trying to figure it out. but some of these young girls, holy shit. it's crazy.

anyways, sunday, we went to an overcrowded baby disco with nicole and mark and noah, and then to their house to watch the superbowl. mark, sean, and trent watched all of the game, I watched some of the game, nicole watched none of the game. in fact, sean and I laughed as she called it "the football". I was a little disappointed that our take-out restaurant of choice (slack's hoagie shack) was only using their deep fryer to prepare wings, which I don't eat. that meant everything I had tried to order - fries, a chicken tender hoagie (??!!), and these thingies called "teezers" which are cheese-filled tater tots - was not able to be ordered. instead I got a cheesesteak with onions that were supposed to be fried but were not (and so repeated on me allllllll night and into today) and mushrooms. it was okay but it was no teezers and chicken tender hoagie. oh well.

today our heater is being replaced. this could go one of two ways - really excellent or really non excellent. I am hoping it will be really excellent borderline hyper neat. it will be nice to not have to worry about having the heat on at the same time you're trying to get the shower water hot. we'll see. I'll let you know.

one more weird thing.

real quick. I realized as I was going through my pennies that I do have another quirk. I collect old money. or money I think is old. I got a $20 the other day that isn't the "new" 20 and therefore I won't spend it. I am going through my pennies now and keeping all the ones from 86 or older. I will spend the others (ie, put them in a change jar until I go to a bank and have them sort it for me) but I will keep the old coins.

I've always done this and I know somewhere (I am not sure where, though, which is bad) I have some really old money in good condition. I don't intend on selling it or finding out if it's worth more than what it is, I just like the idea of holding on to something so tangible and imagining where it was before it came to me.

anyways.

good GOD, or "very small paraphrased tribute to paula abdul"

as in, I take two steps forward and then two steps back.

I really don't mean to be so negative. I swear. sometimes, though, I really have no choice.

the mattress. it was a fiasco.

on the plus side, bella slept reasonably well. we had oceans of room between sean and I and bella had plenty of room to maneuver. she actually slept longways between us for a good part of the night.

but holy shit, the drama. the goal was to have a larger bed that was closer to the ground in case bella rolled off the side. the pieces of the puzzle were as follows: we had one king sized mattress, one "king" sized set of slats from ikea (which were actually 2 sets of twin slats) that are to be used instead of a boxspring or foundation, one bed frame that doesn't accommodate king sized mattresses, and one twin boxspring from trent's bed that he no longer uses. it was my intent to somehow find the best and/or cheapest and/or easiest way to figure out what pieces of the puzzle were missing to complete the picture of a beautiful new king sized bed in our bedroom.

my first thought was to simply buy another twin sized boxspring to pair with the one we have, and to place them on the floor, and put the mattress on top. so I called a local furniture place that sells mattresses fairly cheap, and asked if they had one. of course, the guy wants to sell me more (which is an interesting byproduct of shopping locally - the local businesses are starved for customers and want to squeeze every drop out of anyone who buys) and asks me what kind of bed I have, et cetera. I did find out that a boxspring is different than a foundation, in that it, oddly, has springs - and that it is significantly more expensive than a foundation. I finally get off the phone with him and call sean and ask him to run over and get a foundation. he calls me from the place - seems that king sized foundations are in fact twins that are slightly longer, as king mattresses are slightly longer than twin. fuuuuuuck.

plan b - don't buy another foundation, buy a king sized bed frame and use the ikea slats we have on it to create a foundation. so sean buys a $50 frame and brings it home. and we're done!

juuuust kidding.

so I go up and put it together. it takes FOR EVER. I get it all into place and then get the first set of twin-sized slats on the frame. the problem is, the frame has crossarms that don't extend all the way to the end of the frame itself. it leaves about 5 inches of frame without a crossarm. so there's nothing to support a slat for 5 inches at either the top or bottom. okay, I figure we can live with that. so I go to put on the other side's slats and find that THEY OVERLAP. by about 1/4". and there are so many slats that they can't alternate on the middle frame. it sounds complicated but trust me when I say there's no way it was going to work.

plan c - bite the bullet and buy 2 "twin" long foundations from the furniture store, which closes in 15 mins. except sean forgot to mention that they don't HAVE any of those in stock and that they won't get them for a week. but they will allow us to return the bed frame. so I go upstairs, resigned to my fate, and try to put the frame back into the tiny box it came in.

many years later, I screamed and finally gave up and left it for sean to deal with (sorry sean) and put the slats directly on the floor, with the mattress on top of them.

3 things were apparent. one was that the bed was HUGE and some furniture rearranging was definitely in order. which, now that we have carpet, is difficult. the second was that the bed was REALLY low. like, while laying on it, I couldn't see my alarm clock on top of my nightstand. (which made for a lovely 10 minute delay in my getting to work today, because I refused to have my alarm clock on the floor.) it also made getting in and out of bed for us big folk extremely difficult. I am happy to report, though, that the littlest of us loved it. that being the dog, who couldn't get up on the bed herself before, and bella, who thought it was really cool to run onto the bed and off it again.

the third thing didn't really strike me until the middle of the night, but even at that first lie-down on the mattress, I had a feeling it was coming. it's not as comfortable as the one in the showroom.

in fact, it doesn't feel at all as comfortable as the one in the showroom.

I keep telling myself that it'll break in and feel wonderful, and the room it gives should more than make up for the comfort. and that I can get a foam egg crate thingie, or use the foam thing I already had that is full-sized (and I guess sean is screwed. in bed! how apropos.)

I'm not sure what tonight's slumber will bring. I just hope that next week, I'll tell you that everything is fine, and we have a bed we love.

you got me all wrong

so I posted yesterday what was supposed to be a stream of consciousness kind of thing. and I think I gave the impression (rightly so, in rereading it) that everything was crap and that I was not doing well. I am totally not playing for sympathy (this time). I'm sorry I gave the impression that I was so down. I'm a little overwhelmed, I suppose, but that wasn't the impetus. to business-jargon it, it was a "brain dump" which sounds totally disgusting.

thank you all for your concern. you're some damn good peoples.

so today, the king sized mattress that I mentioned yesterday was delivered. the window for the delivery time that they gave me was "between 11 and 3". sure nuff, 2:55pm, they come knocking. they bring the mattress in and basically flop it in the living room. I asked them if they could take it up to the upstairs hallway at least and they looked like they wanted to smother me. they grudgingly took it up, smashing it into my banister and bending it all crazy ways. the light in the hall kept going on and off, on and off, on and off as they dragged the mattress across the switch. they got it up there and came down and I gave them a crisp $10 for their efforts and immediately felt like an asshole. (I am so bad with tips when there isn't some sort of widely-known precedence set. 20% at restaurants, I get that. no prob. but like haircuts? my dude is $35 and I tip him $15, which seems like alot, but maybe not? I hate figuring shit like that out.) anyways, now we have a mattress in our hallway. baby steps. one day, we may actually be able to sleep on it.

I am pleased to report that bella is taking her new crazy-high-powered antibiotic like a champ. it's a once a day thing that doesn't get refrigerated, which I think is really the key. one time a day to hold her down, and it's not ice cold. she doesn't drink her milk cold and I think that the coldness actually hurts her teeth or something. I actually have no idea and am pulling ideas straight out of my ass. all I care about is that she takes the medicine without screeching or writhing.

in cuteness news, bella is the "tiny mimic" from yesterday's post. she's repeating everything I say, which is I guess good and bad. mostly good. sean and I have become very good at turning off the cursing at a moment's notice when trent is around (unless road rage is happening, then all bets are off) so we've already got the censoring stuff down pat. yesterday, she asked for "cuppa" which means a sippy cup. I asked if she wanted juice or milk, and she said "milk". then I asked her if she wanted milk or juice, and she said "juice". then I asked if she wanted juice or poop, and she said "poop". so it's kind of fun.

she also has decided that right after dinner is bath time. she loves her bath, and she's made her own routine that consists of "eating" dinner (using a fork for the first few minutes, eating a little, then smearing the rest with her fingers, finally culminating in throwing whatever food is left over the edge and calling the dog) and then doing the sign for "all done", followed by yanking off her bib and saying "BAT!" at first, I thought she was asking for brett, and even called brett to say "she's asking for you!" and then I realized she wanted a bath - mostly when she kept saying it over and over and ignoring brett on the phone and going to the steps and trying to rip her shirt off. ohhhhhhhh, BATH. so last night she pours her couscous on the floor for the dog, rips her bib off and says BAT! and we took her up to the bath, and she got in, and she played around, and then...she pooped in the bath. sean got her dressed and ready for bed while I scooped out the turds from the tub and placed them in the toilet. oh these crazy kids.

so in closing, I'm sorry to have alarmed any of you and I really do find it so sweet that everyone is always so supportive of each other. I love you, blogiverse.