I used to...but now I...

missuzj gave us a writing assignment wherein you have to take 2 times in your life and compare them by using the phrases "I used to" and "but now I". I wanted to blog about it because this is precisely why I started this blog in the first place.

I began writing this blog (at the urging of friends) because I was pregnant again after an 11 year hiatus. I was really interested to explore the differences between then and now. and I never really did it...not specifically. I guess I do every day, but in a subtle way.

anyways, here's my homework:

I used to be afraid of what kind of mother I'd be, but now I am afraid that I won't be as patient as I was the first time around.

I used to wonder how I'd tell if trent were teething, or if he was happy, or how to gauge my parenting skills, but now I have the benefit of experience...11 years of experience, through potty training and first days of school...to help me through.

I used to buy copious amounts of toys at christmastime, but now I have no idea what to get my son AND I buy copious amounts of toys at christmastime.

I used to put my infant son on his belly to sleep, but now I freak out if I find my infant daughter anywhere but on her back.

I used to worry about just living day to day and providing for trent from hour to hour, but now I worry about day to day, hour to hour, and college.

I used to think I wasn't doing it right at all, but now I know I won't ever know if I'm doing it right and I don't really care.

I used to have 60 thousand stretch marks, but now I have 800 thousand.

I used to think I wanted a few more kids, but now I realize I have enough.

(sidenote, I had to run to the bathroom just now. I overheard a woman talking to another woman, one of whom was pregnant. besides the obvious ridiculous comments like "I know you've only got 2 weeks to go, I can tell because I see you've dropped" [which, blow me, even if you're my OB, you have no fucking clue] the woman was saying that she didn't understand why people were potty training their children so late. that some people are waiting until their kids are 2 and three years old. she blamed it on too many mothers working. first of all, we're in a work bathroom. second, you're talking to a person who is pregnant, working, and planning to continue to work. she actually then went on to say that the appropriate time for training a boy is 22 months, and a girl is 18 months. christ almighty.)

I used to think I knew nothing about raising kids, but now, apparently, I know it all.

but my favorite is:

I used to think I had only enough love for one child, but now I know that each child just makes your heart bigger.

7 validations:

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

I used to think that some people should save their advice until asked for it......now I know the lady in the restroom should save her advice period. Poor Preg. Girl....believe me I have yet to see a kid start to kindergarden not potty trained. So I say follow your instincts!

Missuz J said...

A+, and TWO gold stars.

I've wondered the same thing--that is, if I had another child, would I love him/her as much as I do Soph--even though she drives me nuts, and currently I'm ready to ring her neck. Also, I figured that having Soph potty trained by the time she was 3 was pretty damn good.

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

I had three and my heart grew big enough with each one.....and believe me it grows even bigger with each of the grandkids.

Allison said...

My daughter wasn't potty trained until she was 2 years and 10 months old (pretty damn close to 3!), but it didn't bother me at all, because I had a newborn baby and didn't even want to THINK about trying to nurse him and help her with the potty at the same time. She potty trained in 2 days on her own, even at night!!! I think some of the reason that kids potty train later now, is that diapers are SOOOOOOO absorbent now and they can't even feel when they are wet and when we were little and our parents used cloth diapers, you could FEEL the wetness!!!!

~A~ said...

Awesome, awesome awesome awesome.

And that woman with the advice, yeah, she can have more laundry.

lonna said...

What a sweet post. Trent and Bella are lucky to have a mom who thinks about them so much and tries so hard to take care of them.

22 months for a boy, huh? I guess we're at least 2 months behind at our house. Dermot isn't showing many signs of readiness. He loves to sit on the potty at daycare, but he doesn't actually use it. He can't even take his own pants off yet. Crazy.

jon said...

Used to be friends but now we're foes
Ask me why, man, no one knows
Maybe jealousy between you and me
Could be the fame, could be the money
I'm goin' for mine and I don't really care
Cuz the spotlight Rob Base don't share
I'm the headliner of this show
And you're just a kid and you need to grow