alone again, naturally

yesterday, I took bella to nicole and mark's to watch fireworks with noah and janette and jules and tracey. it was all planned, of course, but the underlying reasoning for my going was so that I didn't have to be home when sean packed his things and left.

it's amazing how different things can be. mary's moving in with her almost-husband, and the man I pledged a promise to love and cherish forever is moving out of my house. before it sounds too poor-me, I know I asked him to. it's just that the magnitude of the situation sometimes knocks the wind out of me. I know that better things are on the horizon for both of us but it's sometimes so difficult to let go of something that feels comfortable and safe. not to mention the fact that sean is, as I've always said, a good man - smart, funny, caring, just all around wonderful. in fact, he was the first all-around genuinely nice man I'd ever dated. which, I think I mentioned, was my downfall.

the fireworks over the water were nice, the company was nice, the food was good, bella had a great time. I just felt like I was watching myself going through the motions.

I contacted lawyers on friday. we're planning to use one lawyer to just draw up all the papers. we've decided it's not going to behoove either of us to wait. I'll soon make sean a single dad and a divorced man.

4 validations:

WNC8 said...


I fully understand. I asked my wife to leave on March 9th - and she did. She's left behind a husband who did everything in his power to save a twelve year marriage and two wonderful, beautiful girls. The best I (and you) can do is move forward with a brave heart.

Kat said...

I wish you the best of luck as you go through this.

NME said...

I hope you enjoyed yourself a bit on Saturday. It's hard to know whether to talk to you about it or just keep on keepin on and wait for you to bring it up if you want to talk.

Love you.

Rebecca said...

Wow. This is what I get for dropping off the face of the blogosphere for a month, I guess. I don't know what to say.

I think in a way you remind me of my big sister (my half-sister, anyway), who also went through a divorce several years ago. I remember what a hard time that was for our whole family. Man. All the luck in the world, and keep venting on your blog, it's good for you.

And though it almost seems horribly shallow to say this... I really like your new template.