long in the tooth

okay, this is going to be very difficult for me to tell you. and you have to promise me that the next time you see me, you're not going to zero in on my mouth, okay? promise? PROMISE??

I have always hated my teeth. I try to remember to cover my mouth when possible, stand far away from people when I do smile, or don't show them when I am close enough that they may be able to see them. I hate them. I have had several root canals, tons of cavities, just badness in there. I brush them - oh how I brush them - and yet they don't seem to care, choosing to decay any old time they want to.

so I broke a tooth the other day - part losing a filling, part breaking it - and had to go to the dentist unexpectedly. now, this dentist and I had a great rapport a few years ago when I was in crisis mode with these things before. and then I never went back. so I was taking a chance in going to him again. he might hate me. but he didn't.

there is one tooth in particular (if I had to choose just one - there are many) that I hate more than the others. when I was on welfare back when trent was an infant, I went to a horrible dentist who, instead of treating a cavity I had in my front incisor, went ahead and just slapped a bunch of horribly miscolored tooth-like substance overtop of it and it just has been awful ever since. god, I can't believe I'm telling you this. anyways, I've always been horribly ashamed of it. and trent's 13 - so it's been a while.

so my dentist wanted to treat me for the broken tooth, but since it is holding up okay, and since dental work is, and I can't exaggerate enough to even have it be exaggerating, REALLY FUCKING EXPENSIVE - like, I could easily buy a car with the amount of money I have to give them to really fix everything - he wanted to make an impact first. so he took care of that tooth that I hate. not only that, he fixed another tooth next to it for free and is bleaching my teeth for free, too. when I saw my smile after the temporary was in place (the crown will be purchased when my teeth are the color I want) I didn't just cry, I sobbed. and he teared up. it was that dramatic.

I don't have much to smile about these days, but I am trying really hard to smile as wide as I feel like, not having to worry about covering that tooth up or feeling like a total WT degenerate. I can't tell you how liberating it feels and how much more confidence it gives me.

anyways, that was how I spent 3.5 hours of my life yesterday.

and now, I will be going to new york for work until late thursday, so I will see you all again friday. have a great week.

9 validations:

NME said...

I teared up too. I'm very excited for you. It's amazing how teeth impact people. Like that quiet talker we knew. I think about that all the time.

I have a murderous wish for one of my teeth - and it's not the fault of a dentist but just genetics. Oh and the bleaching. I sincerely need the bleaching. Maybe someday.

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

You should see my eyes - just swimming in tears. I'm glad that he was able to fix it.

I too have awful teeth - and a really (illogical) FEAR of Dentist. Like when you get me in the chair you better fix EVERYTHING cause I can't get up enough nerve to come again.

Hope things change soon and you have a bunch to smile about!

Katy said...

YAY!!! I got a lil choked up because I know EXACTLY what you mean. I hate my teeth, cavities...oh the cavities...and the not quite whiteness...and now, with the Lorettaness of my missing tooth. RIGHT THERE!!!! I'm so glad you feel like you can let the world see your smile.

the beige one said...

you don't want to know how well I familiarize, kid.

thelyamhound said...

Yesterday, while stretching out before my martial arts class, I was watching a video playing in the lobby of a Muay Thai boxing match. This one guy kept taking elbows to the face, after which he would turn his head towards the ropes and spit teeth. So, you know, at least you're not THAT guy. Fortunately, my only martial arts-related dental casualty was a millimeter or two of enamel off the end of my incisors when the sensei knocked my jaw shut so fast that my bottom teeth chipped my top ones.

I got a lot of cavities as a kid; I've done a little better as an adult. I've always had straight teeth, but years of coffee, tea, alcohol, some cigarettes and . . . other things have left my teeth less than pearly

I'm glad you found a fix that works for you.

I wonder if, in places where dentistry is less advanced and/or less widely available, or where cosmetic procedures are rare, if people think about their teeth as much as we do.

lonna said...

I broke a tooth while biting a big hard pretzel my first year at Purdue. I had no money, was sleeping on the floor, and no dental insurance. I cried like a baby. I didn't get to have anyone look at it until I met Ethan and he insisted that I have my teeth taken care of. So I ended up with a crown too. I also have a gold tooth in the back of my mouth because my parents couldn't afford a white one when I was in high school.

I am so happy that your dentist was able to make such an impact for you. My family has a habit of only going to the dentist when lots of bad stuff is going on, so I bet your dentist is used to people not coming in for a while.

Crazy Ethan has almost perfect teeth, so we're hoping that Dermot gets his genes.

TD said...

This post reminded me of the scene in The Sun Also Rises where Jake realizes why Georgette doesn't smile. I hope you smile all the time, now. I'm so happy for you, Petrushka.

Katiemagic said...

I'm so happy for you! Seriously, things like that can have such a big impact on day to day life.

I could totally use some bleaching, and some fillings, and some wisdom teeth pulled. Alas, no dental insurance.

keda said...

well done you. isn't it wonderful to have a kind dentist?!

i have huge problems too as does everyone here! and i also spent 2 hours in the dentists yesterday. getting rid of old amalgam fillings.

hooray for really smiling large!