ever danced with the devil by the pale moon light?

ever touched a piece of your own nerve? I have.

it was about 3/4 of an inch long, red at the tip but whitish gray, looked like angel hair pasta - maybe a little thinner. rubbery. my dentist was able to pull it out whole. the other 3 didn't survive the ripping out process.

2 hours, 8 shots of novocaine (2 coming midway through since the others wore off), 4 holes, and $500 later, I have completed one more root canal. hold your applause.

sean found out that his apartment will be ready by july 15. the guilt I feel over my relief is palpable. if guilt can be palpable. he's also said that based on my horrid behavior last night, maybe it's best that he move out until then. I was a bitch - snippy, short, curt. I was in a very bad mood and it was not something I was hiding. while I feel like his moving out is probably for the best, the way it went down makes me upset. I guess I'm not very good at hiding my feelings. I wish it hadn't happened this way.

I have to go open a checking account today. as some of you may know, sean controls all of the money in our house, by my choice. I don't know how much I make, when payday is, or how much any of our bills are. I will have to learn quick. I also have no credit of my own but need to get myself established with a credit card - we'll see how that goes. we've packed up alot of his stuff already. I don't think I'll be able to be here when he moves. knowing the date is earlier makes it more real and sad even if I am relieved.

thank you all for your support.