11.14.2005

somewhere in the middle of AP and CIO

when trent was 2 weeks old, he caught his first cold. he was tiny and I was scared; I was 18 and it was early march, and we had ice storm after ice storm and the roads were impassable. as any mother will tell you, the first cold is the hardest, because you feel like you're not doing anything right and it could be fatal. times that by 10,000. so, instead of keeping him in the cradle, I put trent in bed with me that night. and in a few days, the cold cleared up, but I kept trent in bed with me at night.

I kept trent in bed with me at night until he was 6 years old. partially because for 6 years, we lived in one-bedroom apartments because that's all I could afford. and partially because I liked having him there, and he liked being there. I had no live-in boyfriend (or any boyfriend that could stand to be around trent, but that's a post for another day) and we only had each other. he was comforted by me and I was comforted by him. it was the two of us against the world.

when he was 6, I moved into an apartment with 2 bedrooms and I felt that it was time for him to have his own room. he was entering first grade. he felt the same way. and we've been fine ever since.

when sean and I talked about having a baby, he said that the baby would be sleeping in its own room. none of this co-sleeping. but I loved co-sleeping with trent. however, I didn't know what it would be like sharing my bed with a husband and a baby, so I said that I'd meet him halfway and we'd buy a co-sleeper basinette, which we did.

and then baby bella came. and we kept all her acoutrements in the cosleeper - wipes, diapers, extra pajamas, breast pads, tissues...and the cat loved it too. but there was no baby in the cosleeper. the baby was in our bed. and it's been like that ever since, with neither sean nor I complaining.

but recently, with this tendonitis flaring up and with the realization that bella is a total sweater (meaning she sweats A LOT), I've come to the conclusion that 6 years in our bed is not going to happen. a baby and a big husband and me on a full-sized (not queen, not king) mattress, usually with a dog and a cat, is too much. I sleep on my tiny sliver of bed and I wake up constantly. not to mention that bella is still nursing 2 - 3 times a night simply because my boobs are right there in her face.

so, we dismantled the crib and moved it into our room. it's a good starting point. bella's room is now a playroom, and she's slept in her crib the past 2 nights. she has woken up quite a bit, and I get her back to sleep and put her back in the crib. I've been really tired, but I hope it's all worth it when she can sleep on her own through the night. we'll see how it goes.

tonight, sean and trent are both going to the eagles' monday night game. I get bella all to myself. what will we do first? play with the baby doll and then rip maggie's fur off, or rip maggie's fur off and then play with the baby doll??

10 validations:

lonna said...

I have a distant cousing that my grandmother helped raise who, as far as I know, is still co-sleeping with her 6 year old and her 3 year old. Her husband doesn't seem to want it to continue, but he never really gets things his way. I always secretly wanted to co-sleep with Dermot, but Ethan was really anti-co-sleeping. We had the co-sleeper, but Ethan slept next to it because I was recovering from my c-section for 6 weeks. After 8 weeks we switched sides. We ended up moving Dermot to his crib in his own room at about 3 months and he never complained. Most of the times that I have brought Dermot to bed with us he wants to play because it's so unusual to him. A couple of times he has slept with us. Once went really well at my parents' house, the other time he kept kicking Ethan, so he ended up back at his crib. I wish that it would be comforting to Dermot so that he could cuddle with us on weekend mornings and let everyone lounge a little bit more or that if he's having a rough time it would be soothing for him. But that doesn't happen. I really hope that Bella adjusts to her crib quickly. At around 9 months I just couldn't take the lack of sleep anymore.

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

Co-sleeping is one of those subjects that everyone had an opionion on when I was raising my children. I found that it was about a 50/50 split on if you should. I believed and still do that it is up to the parents to decide if it's right for them! I had one that could have slept with me until she married. The other two could not have - they were restless sleepers which meant no sleep for hubby and I. I know it is hard on little ones to adjust to change hopefully Bella will soon enough. You also may have to move her out of your room completely for her to totally adjust because she hears your breathing just like always but your not there. Have you tried a special sleep friend Teddy/pillow/blanket whatever?

Kodi said...

Kiri slept with me for the first 5 years of her life, and I liked it. But when I remarried, it was impossible, and the fights every night to get her to sleep in her own bed were exhausting. But it was so nice to have her next to me when it was just the two of us.

amandak said...

I used the co-sleeper bassinet with both of mine until they could climb out of it. I liked it, especially for nursing, but both times it was really nice getting my space back when it was time. I can't even imagine all of you in a FULL sized bed, yikes! I'm just too spoiled in my king, I guess I need my space.

KATIEmagic said...

I can't imagine sharing a full sized bed with that many living things, you're a saint. I think having the crib in your room is a great solution. I wish you lots of full nights of sleeping!

Jen said...

I thought we had it bad with the two of us in a queen-sized bed with three dogs, but your story takes the cake!

NME said...

Good luck on the transition. I hope you all get better sleep real soon. I love having Noah in his crib but next to our bed. I feel it's the best of both worlds.

Missuz J said...

Good luck with the transition. Here's wishing all of us moms a full night's sleep some time in the next 5-10 years.

NME said...

I have to ask - what does the title of this blog entry MEAN?

Allison said...

AP is short for attachment parenting and CIO is Crying-it-out.