9.23.2005

oh those golden showers

sean always has the best stories. I need to start a series on funny sean stories. there'll be the one about his brother's wedding, the one about the cat door, the anecdote about the map...but today, I'm going to tell the story about how sean peed on our daughter.

we live in an 80 year old row home. the previous owners did put in a second bathroom, if you can call it that, in the basement, but it is seriously disgusting and we never use it. so our bathroom is upstairs and is fairly tiny. because our upstairs floors are all ripped up in the hallway and in our bedroom, we can't let bella go crawling all over the place while we use le toilet. so she is confined to the tiny bathroom while we go. usually she has great fun playing with tampons and tampon boxes and her rubber ducky. but sometimes she decides she wants to explore.

sean, being a man, pees standing up. as our house as 2 stand up pee-ers and one sit down pee-er, the rim of the bowl under the seat tends to get dripped on. ew. though they are fairly clean. but still, no baby should be putting her little hands on the rim of the bowl, especially while daddy is peeing.

so you can guess what bella decided to do as sean was peeing yesterday. but instead of waiting a few minutes to head on over to the bowl, she did it as soon as sean started the stream. and once he starts, there's no stopping him.

so bella crawls over to the bowl and attempts to hold onto it and stand up - and sean is frantically trying to hold his member with one hand, aiming the stream into the toilet, while he uses the other to get bella off the bowl. sean's a fairly tall guy, so reaching down to get bella causes him to have to bend his knees, no small feat when you're peeing standing up.

while the mele is occurring, the unthinkable happens. sean, trying to get her away and aim his pee at the same time, fails to keep the two separated and pees directly onto bella's hand.

HE PEED DIRECTLY ONTO BELLA'S HAND.

he has now said that he will never pee standing up while she's in the bathroom again. poor guy.

**

zoo this weekend!! I can't wait. I'll take pictures and then next year I'll post them - you know, just as soon as I download them from the camera. woohoo!

6 validations:

NME said...

HYSTERICAL.

I believe Mark holds Noah in one hand and uses the other for aim. It seems insanely difficult to me - and I'm sure he's missing a bit. But since he's in charge of cleaning the bathrooms I just try not to think about it while our son is crawling around.

Why is it that tampons are the universal bathroom baby toy? No loves his box of tampons.

You know I'll have my photos online the next day so don't sweat it.

Katy said...

uhm, that was hilarious. At least it was just her hand.

Brownidegirl74 said...

Sooo funny!!! Brian did the same thing as Mark. Hell, they use to sit on my lap while I was on the pot. What am I thinking?? Joseph still does that. No peace in the bathroom.

Reading the story I thought that it was going to be her head. Thank goodness it was only the hand.

lonna said...

I was fearful for her head too. Makes her hand sound not so bad, huh? Poor Sean. Ethan is by himself with Dermot so rarely, that I don't know what he would do. Dermot has his own bathroom, so if I'm using that and he comes with me, he tries to climb in the tub and play with all of his tub toys that I am too lazy to take out each time he gets a bath.

Missuz J said...

Laughing even now.

I personally think (though my husband disagrees) that guys should just sit the hell down to pee. Just because they CAN pee standing up doesn't meen that they SHOULD. No guy in the world (correct me if I'm wrong) has perfect aim--most are far less than perfect.

rob said...

That's freaking BRILLIANT!

And come on, MJ. Because we can pee standing is exactly the reason why we should.

And now you can too.