my first time with a girl

named barbie (r).

lonna says that dermot, cute thing that he is, likes to carry around two bristle blocks smooshed together. which got me to thinking about my love for bristle blocks when I was in kindergarten and how I got my first barbie.

I was a sickly little kid. I got ear infections at least once a month. back then, we didn't know why, but looking back, and knowing what I know now, I can place blame squarely on my parents. at the time, both of them smoked like chimneys. (now, only my mom smokes.) second hand smoke gives kids asthma (which I also have) and ear infections. I had tubes put in my ears twice to help alleviate all the gunk that piled up in there.

so it was the age of kindergarten, and I loved going to school. I was sort of a tomboy, liking to wear pants instead of dresses and play with cars instead of dolls. at kindergarten, they had excellent toys, stuff I had never seen before. by far, the best toy there were the bristle blocks. I was a total tv junkie even back then and could quote many commercials, and I distinctly remember playing with the bristle blocks in much the same way as the children did in the commercial. (I also liked, and still like, to put toothpaste on my toothbrush a la the aquafresh commercials, with the big swirl at the end, and on the rare occasions when I eat fig newtons, I absolutely have to break them apart in the middle and put them back together again before I can put them in my mouth.)

at any rate, the time came during kindergarten when I had an ear infection and couldn't go to school. it was a particularly bad one, and as was the custom, my mom had made me a bed in the backseat of our car and drove me to the doctor's office. (seatbelts were unheard of. as was sitting. I either laid down in the backseat or stood up, holding onto the headrest of the front seat.) I remember my mom running into thrift drug to get my obligatory penicillin, after asking me if maybe I'd like her to get me a toy while she was in there. the thrift drug of 25 years ago is not like the drugstore of today, where you probably could get any toy you wanted. they always had lame stuff like squirt guns that probably didn't work even if your mom let you play with them with water in the house, and fake jeweled necklaces that didn't do anything but lay there on your neck, useless. however, I didn't hear anything but my mom asking me if I wanted a toy, and of course, I said I wanted bristle blocks.

I was left in the car, laying in the back seat, while my mom went into the drugstore and waited for what seemed like hours (but was probably more like a half hour) for the prescription to be filled. yes, it was quite a different world back then. when my mom came back out, she didn't appear to have any bristle blocks with her, and I was so upset. but then she showed me that she had bought me my first barbie doll - which, because this was thrift drug, was actually my first barbie knock off doll, as it had these totally lame dentable hollow plastic legs and the blue eyeshadow on the doll's face wasn't lined up right - and a bunch of outfits for her. including rubber high heeled knee high boots, which I loved.

I was totally not a doll person in the sense that I didn't have dollies that wet and cried and looked like babies, but after that first lame barbie, I was hooked. I am actually hoping that bella likes barbies so that I can indulge myself once again when she's older. we're gonna get the car, and the house, and the camper, and the pool....and NO KEN. or whoever barbie's fucking these days. ah, reliving childhood.