slackity slack!

okay, to my defense, I am trying to hurry up and finish stuff at work because next week, we're...tadaaaa...going on vacation with the lovely nicole, her tall and manly husband mark, their wee peewee noah, and nicole's wonderful mother carol. we're going to the seashore (she sells sea shells by the sea shore 3x fast) - specifically to ocean city, which should be called You-Might-As-Well-Live-Vicariously-Through-Your-Kids Land Because This Is A Dry County - Yes, That Means No Bars Or Nightlife. not that it matters. we'll all be in bed by 10pm anyways, dead tired. but think of all the pictures we'll be posting.

so ho-anne. sigh. we asked her a little while back (a few weeks ago) if she could watch our dog maggie while we go on said vacation. (we usually ask my dad and KKKathy, but they were already planning on going away themselves, right after they killed wally.) anyways, she said she would do it, which was very nice of her. so this past tuesday, less than one week before we were to go away on the vacation that we needed her help, she informed us that, well, it's just bad timing for her, and she can't watch the dog. you see, she's getting her kitchen redone and the kitchen floor is all messy and the appliances aren't hooked up and there may be men coming in and out of the house. and I know I'm going to sound like an ungrateful bitch, but hear me out. (and then just validate my anger, don't try to get me to see her side, because I can already see her side and don't care.)

she knew when we were going on vacation. I know she shouldn't plan her major kitchen renovations around our plans, I wouldn't ask her to. but if we only asked her a few weeks ago, did she not envision that this might be a problem? how about 2 weeks ago? 3 weeks ago? you know, enough time to actually find someone else to watch the dog????? and then there's the stupid reason. was she planning to cook maggie a gourmet meal, but now can't bear to think of having her eat just plain old dog food since the new stove isn't hooked up? did she think that the opening and closing of doors for workmen would send maggie into a panic whereby she'd run outside and into the delaware river? (she lives in jersey.) was she worried that her messy floor would put off maggie, making the dog feel uncomfortable staying in such a filthy place??

lastly, and confirming my suspicion that she just simply doesn't want to watch the dog, never wanted to watch the dog, and is grasping at straws to make a coherent reason to not watch the dog so that she doesn't feel guilty just saying no, which I wish she would have done....she sent us this information via email. to my non-work address and to sean's work address. on a tuesday. knowing that sean doesn't get his work email until friday and that I may not check my email from work. how lame is THAT?

anyways, brett is going to watch maggie, thank god. but for a day or so, we didn't know what we were going to do. our dog is somewhat sensitive, and even if we felt comfortable leaving her at a kennel, I would expect to pee rainbows before finding somewhere that could take her on such short notice.

and the flat tire - so I take my work friend jarrett to chik-fil-a as a thank you for having him bail me out not once, but twice, when I had no lunch money for our cafeteria. (sounds like high school? you betcha.) chik-fil-a is at the mall, and I offer to drive. no problem when we got in the car. no problem driving the car. as we exit the car, I hear a loud hissing noise. at first, I was worried that it was my radiator cap - perhaps my car was beginning to overheat. I realized it was the tire as I saw it RAPIDLY deflating. we moved the car to a more flat area of the parking lot, thinking that maybe I had run over a screw or nail or glass, but it just kept deflating until it was totally flat - which was only a few seconds later. jarrett, who has my eternal gratitude, changed the tire even while he was in dress clothes for work. when sean took the tire in to our mechanic the next day, he told us that it was a bad valve, and that it was highly unusual for that type of problem to happen to a tire. unless you're me, because in addition to every normal reason for having a flat tire (bad tire, screws, nails, glass, hitting a bad pothole) I have also had a flat due to running over A FANCY TOOTHPICK. you know, the ones with the little plastic thingies on the end that you use to keep a club sandwich together. who runs over a fucking toothpick? I do.

my theory, though, is that ho-anne, wanting to twist the knife, sent the email and then quickly drove to pennsylvania, found me, followed me to the mall, and broke the valve. on purpose.