okay. background. baby is due to storm our house on october 23. so that makes me 7+ weeks. I feel queasy in the mornings and the evenings but have only actually thrown up once. heartburn is a problem. breakouts are a problem. last time I was pregnant, one day I woke up to a body full of hives - that hasn't happened yet. I was "allergic to being pregnant" - and that apparently means that the doctors weren't interested in telling me what was really up. I told my current doctor that and he looked at me like I was insane, so it must have been a pat-me-on-the-head kind of answer that the previous doctor told me.

I have had blood tests and urine tests to figure out stuff about this zygote, and haven't heard anything, so I am assuming no news is good news.

I have a tremendous amount of baggage left over from my first pregnancy that I am trying, rather unsucessfully, to sort out on my own. more than one person has suggested therapy. blogs are therapy, right?

things that I am concerned about right now, apart from the questions already listed, are that I had unreal expectations of what it was like for "normal" people who get pregnant and now that I am pregnant and like to consider myself "normal", and those expectations haven't been met, I am floundering a little. also, I am heavier now than I was at 9 months pregnant with my first son, so all the fantasies about me being carefree and cute in maternitywear are out the window. I'm going to be one of those women you see that you say "damn, I hope she gives birth soon, because she looks miserable and enormous."

oh, and the usual concerns about the baby being pointy headed, born with a defect, or born covered in fur..those kinds of things.

all in all, I'm just a big ball of worry with a tiny rice-sized bunch of cells with arm buds and a tail inside me.

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