Awful night. I felt sick all evening and really sick before bed. I woke up around 3:30 after the following extremely vivid dream:

I'm with my mom hanging out. I go to the bathroom and I am bleeding like crazy. Big clots and lots of blood. I start freaking out and I tell my mom and she tells me to call the doctor. As usual, my mom's not that concerned. I get the doctor's answering machine after forgetting the number a few times. I'm really frustrated that I can't work the phone right. The blood keeps coming. I start getting upset that I didn't connect more with this baby before I lost it, but then I think perhaps I didn't lose it yet and maybe I could just lay down and the bleeding would stop. So I lay down and try to call the doctor again. I get through and talk to a nurse who says that it's normal. I try to tell her that THIS isn't normal and I'm crying hysterically. I tell her to forget it, that I'm going to the hospital, but my mom starts driving and we're so close to the doctor's office that I tell her we'll just go there. I'm in the waiting room with lots of other people and I'm crying and freaking out and bleeding, bleeding, bleeding. The doctor finally comes out and talks to my mom, not to me. He says that it's okay because I was never really pregnant anyway. And my mom looks at me and says she's not going to tell people, she'll just say I lost the baby, so I don't look silly. She doesn't say this outright, but I know what she's thinking at that moment. Then I wake up.

It took me a good few minutes to realize that it was a dream, and that I didn't just come home and get in bed. When I did figure it out, I told sean about it, and then realized I was crying. I tried to go back to sleep but I felt too sick. I had a few dry heaves, then decided to go downstairs and get some crackers and water. I watched the end of mash and an episode of cops. I went back to bed only to have this very vivid dream:

I'm in a movie but I know it is also real. I'm in a german hospital surrounded by nazis. we're breaking out tonight though, because we know it's a matter of time before they start exterminating us because we're infirm. all the jews in the whole town are planning to rebel tonight. I help carry one of the bedridden outside, across the street, and up into a barn. the nazis are starting to fire at us. I'm up and inside. there's a woman at the foot of the steps with a billy club, she's just a civilian but she is helping the nazis find us. her head is shaved because they thought she was jewish but she convinced them that she's not and now she's after us. I have a suspicion that she is jewish but just trying to save herself. I kick her in the head and run back up the ladder. the barn is attached to a school and we're all so happy that we made it that we start celebrating. but it's a sad celebration because we know the nazis know where we are and it's only a matter of time before they do something awful to us. it's a movie and I know how it ends. some of us are in one of the classrooms dancing. out of the corner of my eye, I see a tall man with a gun outside the room. it looks sort of like one of us (but it could be another civilian who hates us) but I have to go to the bathroom. as I walk into the next room and leave all the people who are dancing, I realize that I forgot my purse. it takes me about 30 seconds to go back into the room to get it and in that time, the tall man has shot everyone in the room. I run into another room which turns out to be the office of the headmaster of the school. a woman runs in with me, another civilian. she holds a gun up to me but she's so scared that it is easy to get her to point it at her own temple instead of at me. then she just lets go of the gun. she tells me I can't be in here, that I'm contaminating the room. I know that if I don't kill her, she'll tell the tall man where I am. so I put the gun to her head and she gets on the floor. I'm trying to train the gun on her temple so I will only have to shoot her once. but her eyes keep multiplying and moving around her head - one second, she has three eyes and one is right on her temple. the tall man is coming though. so I just shoot her anyway. I can see through the door that they are blocking all the entrances and pumping in gas. she doesn't die when I shoot her so I have to do it again. and again. and again, this time right in the eye. she's still holding on. I'm crouched behind the coffee table by the couch and she's trying to clutch at the gun. the tall man is coming into the room. I am so afraid he's going to see me. the woman finally dies. the tall man moves on but now the gas is coming...and then I wake up.

I fell back to sleep after a few minutes of looking at things in my room (the light was starting to come in) and realizing it was a dream. I slept until 7 with no problems. I still feel sick this morning.

0 validations: