and hello again

sorry. the vacation was fantastic. 8 days was just enough - by day 6, I missed the kids more terribly than I ever thought I could, and by day 7, I couldn't wait to pull back into port. I had a scooter incident in bermuda that left me scraped and bruised. I saw beautiful water and a stingray that kept following me. I saw many virgin islands, none of which seemed to be made of actual virgins. I also did not get seasick. and jarrett was wonderful, as were our shipmates cara and pete. food was hit or miss - misses included weird fish sticks and buffet food, hits were the best steak I ever had and pumpkin spice gnocchi, which was weird at first but I now crave.

I hate my meds. I have no idea if they're working. I take them every day, put up with the side effects (did you know one of them is crazy sweating?) and I am not sure what they're helping. but ask me again tomorrow, I may love them.

I like my new job (did I tell you I had one?) and love taking the train every day instead of driving. though the part about not being able to be late (the train waits for no one) is kind of a bummer. and I had qdoba for lunch today - there are no qdobas near me. nicole is probably appalled right now but it's right around the corner and it was very good. of course, I've also had lots of non-chain food, but most of it is expensive (that is in walking distance - I don't really take a lunch because I have to leave early to get to daycare on time, so it has to be close.)

bella is exploding with cuteness. she's very into scooby doo right now and we have a ton of movies and episodes (45% of my dvr capacity) saved. the problem is that if I'm not right there to fast forward through commercials, she winds up asking me for stuff that she sees. she loves singing "I wanna be a teen top model - BE whatchoo wanna BE!" which is, I think, a new barbie. she also sings "splish splash" alot due to a toy she has that plays it (thankfully this is at sean's, as I would lose my mind) and she sings it with total inflection. and not to boast, but girlfriend has great pitch and rhythm, already. that makes me happy, as one of the things I love doing the most in this world is singing. (only in private or in a choir.)

trent is being really great lately, too. he started 9th grade this week and has been loving and kind, even though he's let his chores sort of slip. he doesn't stay pissed at me as long. I think he senses the issues I'm having (though I try to be proactively honest when I know things are bad) and wants to make sure he's not a contributing factor. which makes me immensely sad.

I still am not paying my bills. drowning in debt.