I need help.

so things aren't going so well. I have always had a problem with paying bills on time. the thing is, I do really well for a long time and then one thing is late and then it snowballs. that's happening right now. it's not pretty. and then I get paralyzed. I wish someone would swoop in and just take control of my bank account until it's stable again.

I have had a rough few months. but, on the plus side, sort of, I start yet another new job on monday. this one better be a keeper. my contract at my current place was up yesterday, but they offered me a full time position. this other job pays alot more and has a better title, so I went with it. I hope I like it because I don't want to change jobs again for many many years.

on the meds front, I was taken off the lexapro after a, um, incident. my psychiatrist says that I am going through withdrawal from that now, even though I'm on zoloft now. and something called lamictal, which is actually an anti convulsant that works to stabilize moods. it's one of those things where the medicine was made for one thing and they realized it worked on something else. I had an appointment yesterday again and now I have to get a prescription filled for an extended release xanax to replace my as-needed xanax and nighttime klonopin. have I mentioned that I hate taking medicines? I hate not feeling like myself. it's one of the reasons I never liked drinking.

anyways, my stress level is ultra high about the money thing. I don't know what to do.

also - hi. I know, it's been a while.

6 validations:

Missuz J said...

Another new job? I can't imagine the stress.

I've sure read a lot about lexipro going very, very wrong in some people's systems. I hope you and whatever doctor you're working with have a good, open dialog about what's going on with you.

Sending my love to you,

lonna said...


I'm sorry that you are having so much trouble getting things in order. Money can be so hard to handle when you don't have enough of it. I don't know if this is part of your problem or not. I was dead broke until I moved in with Ethan. My cards were always maxed out and I was floating checks all of the time. I don't really have any advice except that you need to pay what needs to be paid first and then see what you can do.

NME said...

As with most things - getting started is the hardest part. And the good news is that your new job should make it easy to get flush again soon. I would suggest the ultra-unpleasant task of sitting down with all your bills and writing them all down on a piece of paper so you can get a clear picture of what has to happen.

Hope the new meds are serving you well - that you are feeling better and on your way to feeling more like yourself. We miss you dearly.

Stine said...

Money stress sucks. Good luck with the new job, here's hoping this one is a better fit.

As for the meds, I hate taking them as well. I have also heard some horror stories about lexapro, and some about lamictal. I did the zoloft thing for a time, and it served it's purpose when I was on it.

Hopefully you'll find a combination of things that will help. I've been thinking about you.

Katiemagic said...

I can totally relate to the bills thing. It can be so hard to crawl out from under, but I know you can do it. Getting behind on bills happens to everyone at one time or another.

It sounds like you're really having a rough time right now. If there is anything I can do please, please don't hesitate to ask.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert helped me through a pretty rough time. Obviously I don't know what's going on, but maybe it would help you like it helped me.

Jen said...

I am sorry you are going through all this, Patrice. I know what you mean about things snowballing. I often feel that way about a lot of things. Once I get behind a little, the further things pile up the harder it is to get moving to attack any of them. The only way I can handle things when they have snowballed is not to look at the whole big mess. I have to break things down into small projects. That way I can work on one little piece at a time, feel like I have accomplished something when I complete each task, and not feel overwhelmed.

I hope things get better for you; I hate to see you struggle. You will find your way eventually; I hope that you find peace sooner rather than later.

Sending good vibes your way-