where has the time gone?

hi. remember me? sorry.

let's start with the weekend. friday night - debacle. I was to go see my friend kristen (who is due tomorrow with her first child) for dinner and then go slightly late to trent's baseball game. while at kristen's house (about 5 miles from where the game was to be held), the skies opened up and all the water left in heaven spilled out. I called brett at 7, game start time, to find out if it was cancelled or what. no answer. we ate dinner and had conversation, I saw their basement mid-remodel and the new nursery. I called about every 15 mins to brett's cell. nothing. the rain came harder. I called sean - confirmed it was raining in lansdale. I figured there was no way that they were playing (the lightning alone) so I stayed a while, calling brett over and over. I left shortly before 9 and finally got brett on the phone. I asked where the hell he'd been. he said "I was coaching a baseball game - DID YOU FORGET??" and I said no, I didn't forget, it is raining like crazy and I figured the game was called. and since I had told trent 3 times that I was coming to the game late, the last time being at 5pm, I figured he knew I was coming and hadn't "forgot". I don't forget my child's gametimes. brett and I argued for a while, him insinuating I had better things to do and that I neglected my son's game, which turned out to be the last game of the season since it was the loss that booted them out of the final tournament. trent was listening, so when I got home, he pretty much said the same exact thing as brett did, crying because he wasn't trying to make me feel bad like brett was - he was feeling like I really did forget him. he stormed to his bedroom and called brett from his cell phone and asked if he could stay at his house because he "really didn't feel like being here". I'm not even going to defend myself anymore. I give up.

saturday. I got trent to a soccer teammate's house so he could go to day 1 of his soccer tournament at fort dix. I kept bella home with me because I figured it would be difficult to wrangle her without brett, who also wasn't going because he had a wedding to attend. bella and I did random stuff and I watched jarhead.

sunday. sean offered to take bella so I could go to the second day of the soccer tournament without worrying about her. we got there around 9:30am and it was freezing. he played 2 games and I got into a minor altercation with an old man from the opposing team. what an asswipe that dude was. I love old men - have a penchant for them - but this guy...this guy, I wanted to pummel. luckily, it didn't come to fisticuffs.

monday. that's yesterday already. sean had bella, I made dinner for friends.

today. I just balanced my checkbook for the first time. yes, I'm 32 years old and I never balanced my checkbook before. it's because I am a wimp. I also paid all the bills that were due before I get paid next. feeling pretty good about that.

in divorce news, sean read over the agreement and had no problems or questions. so we go to sign it and the divorce petition on thursday. the agreement goes into effect immediately, and we wait the 90 days for the divorce. I'm not sure how I feel about it. it's quick - to be sure - but I'm more comfortable with the idea of it. I'm starting to allow myself to feel good again without feeling too guilty. here and there.

today, bella counted to 10 while I took her to daycare. she skipped 5. I still think it's pretty good. she's been talking up a storm lately, surprising everyone with her vocabulary. I'm always saying "where did she learn THAT?" I think it's because me and sean and trent talk so much.

last night, after I picked her up from sean's, I put her in her bed. she climbed up into mine to give me a hug and a "tiss". she asked where daddy was. then she said "sean." as I tried to formulate an answer that wouldn't make me cry, she said "daddy's house. daddy's at home." so I just hugged her and we went to sleep.

7 validations:

lonna said...

Wow, that Bella is really adaptable - is that a word? That's great that she came up with her own great answer instead of needing an answer from you. Dermot is just now getting used to ur routine here, which of course, means that it's all changing next week.

Has Trent always parrotted what Brett says or is this a new "adolescent" thing? That would irritate the hell out of me since you seem to think things through a little (or a lot) more than Brett.

I was thinking that the divorce thing was fast too, but some people need things to move quickly so that it's just over. Good luck.

Katy said...

I skipped the number 12 until I was around 10.

There seems to be more Brett drama than there used to be. Is he just being a jerk for the helluhvit nowadays or a what?

thelyamhound said...

I hate to say it, but Brett seems like he needs to be knocked around a bit. I'm on the wrong coast for it, but still . . .

I wouldn't worry too much about Trent's parroting of what Brett says, because a lot of that is probably just a function of a) Brett's particular involvement in the athletic activities in question and b) hormonal adolescence reaching out to the figure most driven by the same essential hormones. But if Brett's gonna be a hasty and vindictive as he's sounding, it doesn't exactly set a useful example. And isn't setting a useful example what grownups are for?

Hang in there, sweetie.

Stine said...

Ah, that last sentence made me cry. I remember how it was. She'll totally get through it though, with flying colors. You will too.

NME said...

It sucks that you missed the game and worse yet that you had every reason to believe it was called and yet got flack for it from Brett and Trent. On the positive side, I hope you had a nice time at Kristen's place.

Ah fisticuffs. Love that term.

It's great that you and Sean are doing this all so amicably. I know it's not all peaches and gumdrops - but can you imagine quarreling over every little detail of ending your marriage. It can get so ugly for some people.

Congrats on your checkbook. Soon Bella should be able to help you balance it. Right after she calculates Pi.

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

I know you know this but Brett is pushing buttons he nose will get you the worst. I too think Brett drama is escalating - probably because your at a low and he seems like the type that will stomp on you when your down. TRY TO KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!

As for Trent parrotting him - you might want to try to sit down now that the hurt isn't so fresh and let him know that you were hurt because you missed it also. Also remember we are here to be sounding boards (even if we aren't real friend :)- Hey I've had imaginary friends before but I don't think I've ever been one!) Try to take the high road and not trash Brett to Trent (even when he give you so much ammunition) - Trent will remember the classy way you handled it in years to come! (my brother-in-law remembers how his Dad never said anything bad about his Mom and his Mom never said anything good about his dad. Resulting in his valuing his dads friendship so much more than his moms.)

Wow - only skipping 5 is awesome! Maybe she just doesn't like 5.....LOL.

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

I guess I was thinking about your nose ring (awesome by the way) when I said. Brett nose instead of Brett knows.