it's 11pm and bella is nestled in sean's hairy arms, so I'm just down here at the computer at home happily reading away. before I retire for the night finally, I wanted to share with you a nice passtime I now have while on my way to work.
I was stuck in traffic behind a car that had a license plate holder that said:
yes. that's it. that line with the comma at the end. apparently it's a thing with the UCC people. the fun part is making up the line that follows that now-infamous comma. I had like 30 things thought up that were totally brilliant, which of course I totally can't remember now.
I know some of you out there are religious, so please don't take this as a diss. and all you godless monsters out there, quit drinking blood for a second, step out of the pentagram, and just have some fun. here's a few I scrounged up, please add your own in comments.
GOD IS STILL SPEAKING,
so shut the fuck up.
but I think it's in portuguese.
and I am still in traffic, so nothing much has changed.
and yet you continue talking, so now you get a time-out.
yes, still, totally, I know, like, take a break already.
so please don't cut the microphone.
but only to the whites.
but can I have the rest of your burger?
you fucking heretic.
but only I can hear him.
and he wants to know if you saw his keys laying around.
I can't think of any of my good ones, though. dammit. once I post this I know I'll totally remember some. anyways, how bout you guys?
11 validations:
So very happy you have returned. I'm glad you're trip was fun. We missed you terribly. My favorite of your God is speaking was the "you fucking heretic". Perfect. Here are some I came up with offhand
God is speaking,
and she wants waffles for breakfast
and all I hear is blah,blah,blah,blah
and he wants you to pull his finger
mother fucker
We haven't seen those signs in Utah yet, but I'm sure we will soon with some variation on them. For instance....
The Prophet is speaking,
or
Read the Book of Mormon now, you mindless drones.
God is still speaking,
...why don't we have caller ID?
...but can he drop mad science over dope tracks?
...so we're breaking away to join Dancing with the Stars already in progress.
...but all he keeps saying is "itmihuk."
You couldn't think of your "good ones"? All of them were good. I LOL'd. I can't think of any! I tried, but the Dancing with the Stars reference was already taken.
...but no one is listening because he's like that annoying person at the party who just keeps rambling incoherent nonsense and complete lies to make himself look good, when in reality he's not.
...but plagiarized his ideas from others.
(I could do this all day and just get more and more cynical)
God is speaking,
but la la la la, i'm not listening.
and He wants me to do WHAT?
glad you had a good vacation...welcome back.
that is the longest word verify i have ever done! xsprmbli
God is still speaking,
and it's rude to interrupt me.
and s/he won't shut up!
but I'm trying to sleep.
and it takes obnoxious assholes like you to tell me what he's saying.
Enough! Welcome back. I'm glad that everyone had a good time.
but only about Vince Vaughn.
he didn't hear the band trying to signal him to wrap it up.
he's doing a standup routine.
but only through his blog.
I laughed out loud in my computer systems class...not good. Luckily the Hottt teacher just figured he had made a funny and grinned at me. OK, God is still speaking,
-What do you mean still?
-But my line is busy.
-Will you please put me on the do not call list?
-and she wants you to pick up tampons.
-and he needs directions.
-and he says to say hi.
-on wednesdays at 7
Hehehehe
You guys are so funny, I too laughed out loud.
....Out of his ass
Just wanted to say "hi".
Thanks for the birthday wish on Beth's Blog.
Hope all is well.
God is still speaking,
and unfortunately, George Bush is still listening.
Post a Comment