get it out get it OUT GET IT OUT!!!

today, I accomplished 2 major things. one was to go to trent's annual GIEP meeting (gifted individual education plan) with his resource teacher. the idea is that you go over last year's goals, see if you met them, and set goals for the next year. the invitation is extended to trent, me and brett, trent's resource teacher, his regular teacher, the guidance counselor for the school, and the principal. it used to be a law that the principal and the guidance counselor and the teacher had to be there, but a few years back, that law got repealed for some reason. so...they don't come. I like to think that they are too busy, but there are only 3 children in this enrichment course at trent's school and the GIEPs for each child are not scheduled at the same time of the year, so it's not like they had a ton of these to attend and couldn't come. I guess this is the culture of "no child left behind unless they do well on the standardized tests and then we might as well just forget about them". sure, trent's doing above-average work, but does that mean he doesn't deserve to have his guidance counselor take time out of her day to come and see his progress? how is no one showing up "enriching"?

anyway. so usually we go over a few goals, add some goals, and talk about things he did during the year, since our GIEP is always in June (as opposed to at the beginning or middle of the school year.) because trent is going to middle school next year, though, and will have 50 gazillion teachers instead of 3, there are 5 pages of goals for him for next year. I think he was overwhelmed. I think I was overwhelmed. it didn't help that it was my lunch time and I hadn't eaten and it was HELLA hot in there and apparently his school isn't air conditioned.

anyway, that done, it was time to go back to work and get ready for the blood drive, which actually was today.

anyone who knows me knows I'm big into giving blood. but that I hate needles and the thought of my blood draining out of me. my biggest peeve about giving blood isn't the needle stick, though - it's the needle itself lodged in my vein, and the blood spurting out of it (albeit into a tube). this time was no different. the worst is when you're done, and the nurse is doing more than one thing at a time (or more than one person) and they take the bag and lay it up by your legs and leave the needle intact. this is how it went and my thought process:

rolling the tube, rolling the tube, rolling the tube. I had been well hydrated, so the bag filled fast. okay, she checks, I'm done. she takes the bag from below the cot where I'm lying and lays it up against my bare legs, since I am wearing a skirt. THE WARM, HUGE BAG OF MY BLOOD IS NEXT TO MY BARE SKIN. I'm counting the ceiling tiles to keep my mind off of it. meanwhile the tube is still taped to my skin, so I know the needle isn't going to move around in my vein. because that's a big fear of mine - moving so that the needle moves in my vein in my arm. I mean like, I had to just stop typing and compose myself just in talking about it.

anyway. so then she removes the tape from the tube and the needle is able to just be tossed about. it's not being tossed about but it could be at any moment. this is when the panic starts setting in. I start saying to myself "I wish she'd take it out." then, she goes over to the other bed and does the same thing with the other guy, who is also done. but this is going to take about 5 minutes. 5 minutes with the needle in my arm, unprotected. the tech who takes the blood takes my blood bag from the cot. and bumps it. I wince. the banter in my head gets louder. "I wish she'd TAKE IT OUT." then I am picturing the tube like an unmanned hose flailing all about spurting out my blood. of course, this isn't happening, but IT COULD BE. my eyes are now closed. she's still not back. I'm screaming in my head "TAKE IT OUT TAKE IT OUT TAKE IT OUT" and starting to feel sick. just as I'm about to call out to her to come and take it out before I totally freak, she comes and takes it out. but the nausea is still there. I'm trying to keep it together and not freak out, I sit and eat my goddamn cookies and orange juice, and here it is 3 hours later and I'm still feeling sick.

so, when they say "be nice to me, I just gave blood" they're not telling the whole story. I want a sticker that says "be nice to me, I just gave blood and it could have been spurting directly out of my vein for nearly 10 minutes, all to save someone's life, so give me my due and hand over your credit cards."