ode to cadbury mini eggs

my love, my cadbury mini eggs, you only come out at easter.
when march comes round and eggs come out, I know I'm in for a feaster.
I buy a bag, the largest they have, and pour you into a big bowl
and figure I'll just throw away my scale and my stupid crappy WuhWuh goal.
cadbury mini eggs, I love you so much, and if I weren't already betrothed,
I'd marry you, in a big chilled field, and together we'd be candy-shell enrobed.

the end.

now about the weekend.

bella's favorite things: a list.
5. mommy. yeah, sean, I said it.
4. our comcast remote.
3. sealed plastic bags filled with sponge paint brushes.
2. mardi gras beads.
1. anything paper.

the girl loves paper. it's insane. I have never seen her reach for something like she reaches for the little reply mail cards that fall out of magazines. she loves to chew on it and squish it up and look at it and chew on it some more. and of course, she'll choke on the pieces she gets in her mouth and get poisoned from the ink. as she will hang herself with the mardi gras beads and suffocate on the plastic bags after she pokes her eye out with the sponge paint brushes while recording 13 minutes of Lingo on our DVR.

the only thing safe on that list is mommy. and I'm not all that safe considering I gave her the other 4 things to play with.

trent's science fair project
just a heads up that trent's project is due on thursday. he's doing the same experiment from The Smoking Fry extra feature on the Supersizeme documentary. he wanted to see if the fries will now get moldy since mcdonalds changed their oils to something more, how you say, edible. and knowing trent's penchant for doing things at the last possible minute, including getting upset about doing things at the last possible minute at the last possible minute, it should make for some "funny" stories.

vacuum cleaners
first off, is that even how you spell vacuum cleaner? vaccuum cleaner? vacum cleaner? whatev. anyways, we had a kitty litter incident this weekend that required alot of vacuuming. and when I used our old, beat up vacuum that my dear father fixed for us, I got the most severe shocks I have ever had in my life. like I was seriously shocked, and I could feel it for a good 3 hours afterwards. so I got right on the phone and screamed to sean that I was buying another fucking vacuum cleaner TODAY, goddamn it!! and of course he said sure. so I packed up the kids and went to walmart to buy a new vacuum cleaner. we can't afford the harry potter special (aka the dyson "I had-dit" vac) so I tried to figure out what would be comparable. another lady was looking at the same time and we both started to gravitate toward the hoover miracle vac or whatever it's called...but I got it first.

so it's "bagless" and that conceivably means that you don't have to buy lots of bags. instead, you have to buy 3 times as many filters. but this one we have has this little light on it that is red when it's picking up dirt and turns green when that area of the rug is cleared of dirt. we can also call this feature the Trent Can't Pretend He Did A Good Job Vacuuming Anymore Even Though He Totally Didn't feature. and it's heavy, so it seems like it's doing a better job. at any rate, it makes much more noticeable lines in the carpet that make it look like you vacuumed. and it does suck...in that it sucked up all the litter that the other one, while shocking me, just seemed to spread around.

sean's family
you know, this is a whole nother blog unto itself right here, but suffice it to say that on saturday, we went to our niece Mollie's 3rd birthday, and the girl got more presents than most kids get at christmas and birthday combined. but what was really annoying (and conveniently has nothing to do with sean's family) is that this one lady insisted that mollie open her present first - and she had 2 boys that seemed to be about maybe 4 and 6 years old that wanted to "help". now, mollie is hardcore into princess stuff, so everything was pink and fluffy, but I guess the excitement of a whole pile of presents crosses gender lines. anyways, so I figure that this woman is hovering around mollie insisting she open her presents first because she must have to leave early, as some of the other people were saying they had to do. mollie opens the lady's presents, says thank you, and the woman stayed right where she was. now, sean's family is large, and there were quite a few people there. and this woman? wasn't even related. wtf, lady?? and she stayed there for the whole 45 minutes it took for mollie to open the presents, as did her 2 present-grubbing children. what was the point of that whole "open mine first" then?? that shit annoys me.

and finally...

our trip to the police
so trent had mason over this weekend, as they are doing the science fair project together. (or rather trent's doing it and mason is "helping".) while they were "taking a break" (which comprised much of the day) they went out back to throw the football around in the alley behind our house. which means they went out back and did stuff they weren't supposed to, with a football in hand. they came running in, breathless, and told me that there was something going on out on the train tracks. (they were PLAYING ON THE FREIGHT TRAIN TRACKS. heart palpitations. and yes, there are still trains that come down those tracks at irregular intervals several times a day.) now, trent's heavy into CSI so he's going all crime lab crazy, but they did find a wallet. a thick, heavy wallet with not only a driver's license, but myriad credit cards and even the guy's social security card...which by the way, you're not supposed to carry around. tons of paperwork was stuffed inside it. in fact, it was quite seinfeldesque and one had to wonder how on earth the man could even sit on this wallet. it couldn't be folded, seriously.

so I checked out where they found it and not finding anything crazy, I told them we'd eat dinner, and then when we took mason home, we'd go by the police station to turn it in. I think this was probably the singular best experience in either of their lives. (though mason had once been shot by a beebee gun in north wales, and now cautions all of his friends to watch out because north wales is a bad neighborhood. to put it in context, it's like saying "be careful in Marshmallow Fairyville, because it's a bad neighborhood".) the police officer came out, asked them questions, wrote in his little book (well actually he wrote on the back of a reply mail card from a display about child abuse but he was reaching for his little book that he keeps in his front pocket, but it wasn't in there, but anyways) and asked for their names. so we'll see where that goes. trent is convinced that the man is dead, and that the CSU team will be out shortly to look for fingerprints and other evidence. yes, the Lansdale CSU team.

so that was our weekend. can't wait to read about yours.

4 validations:

jon said...

two thoughts:
1.) you spelled vacuum correctly and should be commended.
2.) you chose wisely. the dyson vacuum is a rip-off. sure, it doesn't lose suction...but it doesn't suck very hard in the first place.

Jen O. said...

1.) I have total vacuum envy
2.) Your ability to work "mail reply card" into your blog twice, and separately, in one blog entry, amazes me.

Patrick said...

I love the Next Blog button. It keeps me occupied for hours if I let it. Glad you enjoy my blog!

TD said...

You posted at 11:11. Make a wish.