introspection for a minute

I was all ready to write another entry about how all these bad things keep happening to me. (like my 2am realization that my bad haircut is actually a mullet, that I have a stain on my shirt that I didn't notice before going to work today, that I can't seem to keep my mouth shut when I am supposed to, etc.) and then I was like, I don't even want to address it all again. sure, it's funny when I read it back to myself. ha ha, remember when I had that mullet? boy that was klassik.

but I don't want to relive it today. not today.

I'm usually pretty good at laughing at myself. in fact, one of my main staples of conversation with people I am just getting to know is to whip out some crazy and/or funny story about something dumb I've done recently. it definitely puts people at ease when they know you're an idiot. it is relaxing to them, I suppose. (of course, I don't do that ALL the time, just when my keen instincts tell me to. and when my keen instincts are wrong, well, then I have another story to tell another group of people.)

but not today. today, with reading 1 small email from a friend who said something cutting that normally I'd find hilarious or at the very least true, I actually cried. at my desk. like a stupid little kid. which made me more upset and hence more hot tears.

maybe it's the lack of sleep. maybe it's the pressure. maybe postpartum depression is setting in. maybe it's my hormones out of whack again because I'm trying to start weaning. maybe it's just a shitty-ass day.

I hope to be my usual jovial self again soon. in the meantime, I suggest you look to the archives if you'd like to laugh at me about something - plenty of fodder there.