so jen had a dream about me and nicole having our babies. it's here, I think. anyways, I haven't had dreams either way about me having a boy or a girl, and so far, I haven't dreamed about any other people but myself. which makes my dreams lonely, because often, even sean or trent only have brief appearances. sometimes that's how I feel, a little - lonely. even though this time I have a friend who is pregnant, too, and I go to prenatal yoga with a bunch of pregnant women. I probably still have baggage from the first time.

I can't decide if I really am feeling the baby move (at night, when resting) or if it is my digestive system. or imagination. or wishful thinking. we go back to the doctor's on the 20th, what's that? thursday? so we go thursday. I know I get bloodwork done and I hope they finally let me have a freaking ultrasound, since they said they'd do it last month. I guess I should feel lucky since they usually give only one ultrasound when they feel the baby is safe and it's not a risky pregnancy, but I'm annoyed at reading and hearing about people having their first of obviously more than one ultrasound at 8 weeks or 10 weeks.

my, um, step sister in law? I don't know, kkkathy's daughter in law, anyways, is having her baby shower the day before my birthday. I just bought her stuff from her registry at babiesrus - some boy onesies, and a wipes warmer. wipes warmer! trent would have loved that when he was a baby. he'd catch his breath when I would use the wipes on him and he'd scream. partially because they had alot of alcohol and he did alot of pooping, but I know initially it was because they are cold, cold, cold. and he was already cold from me taking his pants and diaper off. when you think about how crappy life must be as an infant - not being able to communicate, getting teeth, pooping yourself and then having your pants yanked down and having cold wipes - a wipes warmer seems like a very humane thing. but as an adult, a wipes warmer seems extravagant and luxurious. both of those views are why I am putting a wipes warmer on my registry.

for the last few weeks, I had been amazed that I had a belly button again. it had been lost in extra folds of skin for so long that I forgot what it was like to have a hole there where stuff could accumulate. but now I don't think it will be too much longer before, like a purdue chicken, it pops out. I don't have that dark line yet, but I don't think that happens until later.

I think in my mind things are going slow because I remember looking at WTEWYE and doing a sort of checklist and it went very fast. but I remember now that I did that because I got the book later in pregnancy and I went back through the months I had already passed and checked to see if I had all the right signs. anyway, I can feel my ligaments stretching and sometimes it hurts. I think this baby is going through a growth spurt or something.

I'm trying out a jen oliver type post and putting pictures in stuff to illustrate my points. tip o the hat, jen o!