funk be gone

being mentally unstable is exhausting.

I hate spending so much time inside my head, but it's so hard not to. I'm trying now to expand my social circle so I have more in my life besides the things that cause me to be anxious. it's slow going.

so let's talk kids. everyone likes kids.

bella is home sick today. well today she's not as sick as she was yesterday. and it's easier to work from home when she's more sick, which is sad but true. today she's feeling better and she wants to play wif me, sit wif me, and save my seat if I get up to do something. she's adorable but it's hard to get anything done. she has a runny nose and is getting over a 2 day fever. I don't know exactly what's wrong, but I knew I couldn't take her to daycare.

trent is a loving kid, I'm so lucky. he loves coming home and playing with bella. and believe it or not, he wants to kiss and hug her and she doesn't want him to. you'd think it was the other way around. they love each other and love to play. it's so helpful that he's able to keep her entertained. sometimes though they go and play and I'm just an observer...but I think it's good that they have that relationship. I just feel a little left out sometimes. but that's when I get alot of stuff done, so it's not so terrible.

there's not much else to say. I feel like I'm coming out of a profoundly depressed time, and I'm grateful to be out of that phase, but I'm afraid to say it's over for fear that tomorrow will be horrible again. we'll see.

I miss all of you.