and 13 is my lucky number

I am 33.

for real?

just a short rant. I'll tell you why later.

so I'm on a website and because of my profession, I pay attention to the ads that I see on pages. this one was for these chips, I forget already what they're called. flat earth? anyways, I've seen these ads in parenting magazines and on websites geared toward women, and the ads say something like "get your kids to like vegetables" or something and show that the chip, which is supposed to be delicious, has vegetables in it. fine, I get it, kids don't like to eat well, it's a mom's job to do whatever she has to do to get kids to eat well. (it's just that, and maintaining a perfect fake tan. master those two things, and you're golden. literally.)

I saw the ad again today, only this time, the headline was "disguise an apple so that even your husband will eat it."

okay. even though I'm only half of the parental unit, I understand that social mores dictate that I am responsible for getting my kids to eat nutritiously, while daddy is there to throw them up in the air and stay late at work. but getting my HUSBAND to eat an apple? dude. if you are relating to disguising fruit so your husband will eat it, both you and your husband have ISSUES. the ad conjures up images of the husband on the couch eating the chips voraciously while the wife stands in the kitchen doorway smiling knowingly and nodding her head, like "that crazy geoffrey, he has no idea that it's good for him! but I do, because that's my job!" when I was married, I was sure to stock the house with good food for sean and I when we were trying to eat well, but because I wanted both of us to have choices. okay, I may, perhaps, maybe give you the benefit of the doubt if you're suggesting I urge geoffrey to eat an apple. but to disguise it? like he's 4? fuck that. fuck that whole notion. fuck the people who thought it up, fuck the guys that thought it was clever and fuck the women that allowed it to happen. fuck them all, and fuck whatever the fuck product that is.

this rant is made possible by me taking a break from continuous birth control to have my once-a-quarter period.