day whatever

not feeling all that great. tired. I feel really cut off from everything and lonely but I have no desire to change anything. mostly because it would take effort and I don't have any. I just don't. I only hope there will be people around when I snap out of it.

let's talk about bella. she's cute. she gets so excited when she sees people she knows now. especially her "big brudder". she can let the dog out by herself and then give her a treat, so she feels quite accomplished. and it's nice to say "bella, can you let the doggie go out?" and have her do it. that's really the best reason to have kids - to get them to do stuff for you.

her hair is growing alot, and while I'm allowed to put it in a clip or ponytails, it does not stay for very long as she likes to rip that stuff out of her hair. she's still doing the twirling (though she asks first now for some reason, "mommy, can I twirl my hair?") and it still looks cute to have one giant corkscrew curl on top of her head, but soon the front is going to get in her eyes. we'll see how it goes, but I know I don't want to do what my mother did to me, which was just to keep my hair short. all the time. and I didn't like dresses so everyone called me a boy, which really was upsetting at the time.

anyway. the other day, someone told me a story about their 14 year old nephew (or something) that was just caught smoking weed. so I can't really complain too much about trent, even though he just served 3 detentions for the episode that preceeded his stitches a few weeks ago. it could be worse. but he's still grounded.

work update: I need more to do. but I know to be careful what I wish for.